


Life after love

by Teamironmanforever



Category: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, Jealousy, No underage, Slow Burn, protective!Alex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:53:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22353649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teamironmanforever/pseuds/Teamironmanforever
Summary: The last thing Bethany had expected when they finally left Jumanji was to find herself staring into the familiar eyes of a man now 20 years older than her - a man who had lived his life without her. The last thing she had expected was to never even have a chance to date the guy she had fallen for.Now, with her old friends set against the "new" her, the new challenges of life coming her way, and the only thing to keep her grounded being 3 soon to be college students moving to different states, she finds that real life can be worse than being stuck in Jumanji. Still, the game has taught her one valuable lesson; never give up.She can get through all this. She just needs to find a way to stop bumping into Alex, who manages to make her fall more in love each time they talk. Better yet, she needs to stop texting him. And she should probably stop trying to fill the void with other guys while she's at it.Really, walking back into Jumanji would have been easier.
Relationships: Alex Vreeke/Bethany Walker, Spencer Gilpin/Martha Kaply
Comments: 99
Kudos: 303





	1. Day 1

If getting stuck in a game had been bad, the getting out of Jumanji was honestly worse. It was disorienting to finally get used to a new body just to be thrown back to the old one.

For Bethany, her skin feel too tight, her clothes were too cramped, and her long wavy hair felt like an extra unnecessary weight she wasn't quite sure what to do with. Still, she was overjoyed to be herself again, to have a petite frame, to have a narrow waist, no facial hair and, more importantly, no more weird weight between her legs. 

All of those little observations fell away once she looked around the room at her friends, and realized there was one teenager missing: Alex had not come out with them.

"Wait, where's Alex?" She asked to no one in particular, her heart in her mouth at the thought of her friend - the guy she was pretty sure she had fallen in love with - all alone in that hellish game with no one to help him out. 

She couldn't understand what happened. They had retrieved the stone, called out Jumanji, and shook the NPC's damn hand. Why was Alex not here? He was supposed to come home with them, have the chance to grow up and become an adult. Yeah, maybe it was twenty years too late to grow up with the people he knew, but he would have had the team. He would have had Bethany.

Bethany who was about to lose her mind if they didn't find him.

"Maybe he was spit out at his house?" Spencer said, looking worried as well. 

Bethany held on to that ray of hope with all she had, turning to grab her bag. "C'mon we have to go check. We need to find out what happened to Alex." 

If the others could hear the desperation in her voice, they did not comment, instead they hurried to grab their own things to sneak out through the school's back door. 

Bethany felt jittery the entire way to his house, hoping against hope to find him there, alive, well, and out of Jumanji. Perhaps it was the worry, or the fact that she had no idea what he looked like, but she didn't immediately register the man parking the mini van in front of freak house - which decidedly didn't look like freak house anymore. 

It wasn't until she saw his chest covered by a Metallica shirt that the truth clicked in her mind, sending her into a new horrifying spiral. "Alex?" Bethany whispered out loud, unable to keep the question in, a part of her, hoping that he would turn and say no, that he was simply Alex's older, likely married brother. 

“Hey dad, when you get a sec, would you give us a hand?” The man asked loudly as he fixed his jacket, still oblivious to the four teenagers standing a few meters away, looking like they were seeing a ghost. 

The man noticed them a few seconds later, and wary recognition filtered through his factions almost immediately. “Hey dad, would you give me a second?” 

He approached them slowly, bringing his son with him in his carseat, as if afraid they were about to disappear. Bethany couldn’t help but raise a hand to wave, hoping against hope that her face wasn’t showing how horrified she was feeling right now. 

He smiled hesitantly, sucking in a harsh breath before roughly whispering "Bethany," a million emotions running through his eyes, from relief to happiness to sadness. 

She clenched her hands, as his voice did something to her, leaving her insides twitchy and jittery. In that moment she realized three things: first, despite the oddness of seeing his new - his _real -_ face it did not change the way she felt about him. Second, he was attractive as hell for a man twenty years her senior, which really was not helping her at all. And third, she would never have Alex Vreeke for her own, because the man was clearly married considering the fact he had a baby with him and a damn ring on his finger. 

"And you must be fridge," he finished, oblivious to the fact that Bethany had not heard a word he had said in the past three minutes. "I am stoked to see you, all of you." 

"You made it back" Bethany said weakly, forcing herself to smile, because what else was she supposed to do? 

"Yeah, I did. It spit me out right where I started, so 1996," he said, his smile small and tinged with a little sadness. 

"And your parents and the house-" Spencer asked, not quite believing anything he was seeing was real. 

"No yeah, it… all good bro," Alec was quick to reassure. 

“You’re an adult now,” Bethany said before she could quite stop herself, as if saying it changed anything. “You have a family,” she said, smiling softly despite her pain at the sight of the smiling baby boy. 

"I do yeah,” he said, not quite meeting her eyes. “This is Andy, and then my daughter," he looked up at Bethany, his eyes once again unreadable. "My daughter's name is Bethany. We named her after the girl who saved my life."

Bethany could not respond instead she just gave him a genuine smile, feeling both incredibly touched and crushed by that fact. She would never regret the fact that she gave him one of her lives. Alex had made it out of the game, had been reunited with his family, just like Bethany had wanted. And she was genuinely happy for him, but she couldn't help but feel a heartbreaking sting at the thought that now she would never have a chance to get to know him out of the game, would never have the chance to explore the spark they had had while in Jumanji.

"So stoked," he said again, beaming at them despite how awkward this whole thing probably looked for anyone else watching them.

"Right, well we're all so happy you got to come home," Bethany started, fighting to keep herself in check.

"We should go though,"Martha said, not needing Bethany to say more to know her friend needed to leave now. "We don't wanna interrupt your plans, and we kinda should head home too." 

"Of course," Alex said graciously, though it was hard to miss the sadness in his eyes. "I am so glad you guys dropped by. I am sure I'll see you all around. We'll have to catch up eventually!"

"For sure man, we'll figure something out," Fridge said as he fixed his backpack, and took a step back. "Alright crew let's go, the baby's gonna get cold if we keep standing here like dumbasses,"

"Bye Alex!" They all said in unison, except for Beth who only waved, feeling too unsettled by everything to do much more than that. 

When they finally left, she couldn't help but turn her head back to look at Alex one more time, surprised to find him looking at her too, his eyes sad and full of some other emotion she couldn't pinpoint. She gave him a tight smile and turned away, breathing hard through her mouth. 

"You okay?" Martha asked once they were a few blocks away and the house was no longer in sight. 

"Yeah, of course," Bethany replied automatically, but even she could tell she sounded off. "It was just… Weird, you know. I mean he was 17 like us just an hour ago and now… now he is a grown man in his thirties with two kids and a wife." She shrugged, clearing her throat. "I mean I am happy for him."

"You are allowed to be sad at the same time, you know?" Martha said quietly, squeezing her hand. "I mean you guys shared a lot while there, and, like you said, it's just been an hour for us. _It's okay_ to feel like crap for a while.”

Bethany nodded as her eyes welled with tears but she did not let them fall. It was fine, she had known the guy for a day. Well, a Jumanji day, which they had already discovered passed far more slowly than real time. So she had likely known the guy for at least a couple of months, and had almost died by his side multiple sides - and had given him one of her lives. But still, she was overreacting. This was all fine. 

Really It was all _perfectly_ fine. 

* * *

"We're gonna have to start doing this earlier or we gotta work on our pace if we wanna increase distance," Fridge said as he took a full of water before passing the bottle to Bethany, who took it gratefully. 

"I mean we already get up at the crack of dawn to be out by 5," Martha pointed out as she took the water bottle from Beth to take a drink and splash her face. "God, I hate running so much." 

"You know you don't have to always join us if you don't want to," Fridge teased as he began to stretch.

"No, I really do," Martha said as the memory of Jumanji crossed her mind. "Besides, this has helped me a ton in my MMX classes." 

"The fact that you're still taking those is badass," Bethany said with a smile. "I am telling you, Ruby Roundhouse won't have anything on you when you're done." 

Martha beamed at her, only holding back a hug because they were both sweaty and gross. "I mean I don't know how much longer I'll be able to do it. Graduation is like a month away and I don't know where to find a studio near my campus since I won't have a car." 

"Maybe they'll have a club at school?" Fridge asked. "Or you can ask your teachers here, maybe they can hook you up over in Boston." 

"Yeah maybe," Martha said. "I'll have to convince Spencer to find a studio in New York as well, so that he doesn't fall behind. He's gotten really good."

"I feel like that's love talking," Fridge teased as they reached Bethany's block, stopping near her house. 

Martha punched him lightly in the arm. "One day my boyfriend will kick your ass and I will die laughing."

Fridge snorted and laughed. "In your dreams." 

Bethany held back a sigh and cleared her throat. "Alright guys, I'll see you at school. I feel gross and I wanna go take a shower."

"Yeah same, I'll see you guys at lunch. Are we still on for a movie tonight?" Martha asked as she began walking backwards.

"Yup, at my house, seven o'clock don't be late!" Fridge said and with that both of her friends were gone, leaving Bethany standing in front of her house, feeling drained. 

It had been six months since they had left Jumanji, and her life was radically different today than it had been back then. She had improved her grades dramatically, given that she now had multiple really smart friends willing to help her study. She was getting into great shape by running every morning with Fridge for almost two hours, six days a week. She was also taking self-defense classes and made her friends go hiking with her at least once a month. She had ditched her old friends, whom she had finally realized were hollow and self absorbed and had dedicated her time to her team and her family. She had gotten into a good college to study pre-medicine, and she was taking a Gap year to work with an NGO in Brazil. 

Life was good. Life was _really_ good. And yet, despite everything, she didn't feel happy. Not fully. Because no matter how much she improved herself, she still had not been able to let go of Alex. She had not seen him since that fateful day six months ago, and he had made no attempts to contact any of them which, honestly just made everything worse.

She missed him like one misses a limb, deeply and intimately. She had considered going into therapy because something was clearly wrong if she couldn't get over a guy she had never even dated after six months of silence, but she had discarded that idea fairly quickly. What was she going to tell the therapist? I fell in love with a guy inside a game and I gave him one of my lives, but now that we're out, he's twenty years older and won't talk to me because he's sane and he has no interest in hanging out with people he knew 20 years ago? 

So, no therapy. 

She had talked about it a bit with Martha, but there was only so much her friend could do beyond offering a listening ear. She couldn't control time. She couldn't change the fact that Alex was so out of Bethany's reach he may as well live in a different continent. She also couldn't control the fact that she had gotten out of the game with Spencer, and the two were so in love it was almost nauseating.

So Bethany dealt with it the best way she knew how: by suppressing it and burying it deep within her, where her pain was only visible to herself. 

It would be fine one day, she was sure of it. She just needed to give it time.

* * *

Bethany narrowly swallowed a yell and a self defense manoeuver when she closed her locker door only to find Noah standing there, as arrogant as he had been six months ago. Ever since Jumanji, she did not handle scares very well, which was fine because her friends respected that and always announced their presence to her. Except of course for fucking Noah, who even after six months still bothered her because she apparently was the one girl who had rejected him and he didn’t know how to handle that.

She still cringed at the fact that she had liked this guy at one point in her life - a time that felt like eons ago. She was glad she had grown out of that, in all honesty. She tried to avoid thinking how shallow she had been’ she was much happier with whom she was now and, as much as it had been Jumanji, she knew deep down a part of it had also been Alex and her team. 

"So, prom is coming up," Noah started, not bothering with a greeting. 

"Yeah, I know," Bethany said with a forced smile as she fixed her backpack and began walking to her next class. 

Noah was not deterred as he smoothly caught up, walking at her pace to follow her to class. "Have you bought a dress yet?"

Bethany frowned. "No? I don't actually know if I'm even gonna go," she said honestly. "Why?"

Noah looked at her like she had three heads. "We agreed back in December that we would go together." 

Bethany did cringe then. She had completely forgotten that stupid fact. "We don't even talk anymore Noah," she said, trying her best to sound apologetic. "I mean, why would you even want to go with me? You should ask Lucinda. You'll get bored if you go with me, because, if I do end up going, I'll likely spend most of the time with my friends."

Noah shook his head, looking deeply disappointed. "What the hell happened to you, Beth? I miss the old Beth. She wasn't as much of a bitch."

That pissed her off, because this little jackass didn’t get to tell her who to be. He had never given her the time of day, so he could fuck right off with his stupid ass male privilege. "She grew up Noah, and I don't miss her one bit. If you don't like me now, then that's an even bigger reason not to go to prom with me. Have fun with Lucinda," she said with finality as she redoubled her pace and walked away, feeling tired.

She couldn't help herself as her mind drifted back to Alex. Alex, who she was sure would never have pressured her to go to a stupid party she didn't want to go to. Alex, with his soft smile and outdated jokes. Alex, with his big blue eyes and his breathy Bethany that half left her heart beating as fast as a stallion. Alex who had named his _child_ after her and who was very much not available.

Right, moving on. 

The day passed in a blur, as sometimes they did when she began thinking about Jumanji and her time with Alex. She was brought out of her reverie, however, by a text from her mother who was asking her to drop her brother off this afternoon at his dance lessons. 

Hunter had decided to start taking ballet lessons when his best friend, Leah, had told him her dad - a man that was as tall and imposing as a building - had been a professional dancer when he was younger. Hunter had decided that the profession was the key to being a badass, which was why one day he had come home in all his six year old glory and had demanded he be put in a class like his friend Leah. 

Bethany thought it was adorable.

But the issue was her mother's schedule had become erratic this past month, which meant more and more Bethany was the one taking him to classes. She didn't mind though, it gave her something to distract herself with that wasn't school and, after everything that had happened, she was more appreciative than ever of the fact that she could still spend time with her little brother. 

That thought carried her for the rest of the school day, and put a smile on her face when she got home to find Hunter all ready to go with his far too large bag filled with toys he wasn't actually allowed to take out during his lessons. 

"You ready buddy? Mom is busy today, so I'll be taking you to class." She explained as she held the door open for him to let him get out. She dropped her school backpack by the door, only grabbing her phone and wallet with her. 

She strapped him into his car seat before jumping behind the wheel, driving slowly as she always did when Hunter was in the car with her. The dance school was thankfully close - it was only a 15 minute drive - which helped Bethany remain calm. She was still somewhat new to driving, and she didn't like driving others unless necessary, mostly because she did not want to be the reason someone got hurt in a car. 

Hunter was never bothered by her driving. She let him chatter away, listening as he told her all about the bugs he had studied today at school and about all the dance moves he was ready to practice. So engrossed was he in his story, and she in listening, that once they got out of the car she did not notice the familiar minivan sitting a few spots away from where she had parked. 

They made their way into the studio, where she helped him with his coat and his bag so he could go greet his friends before the start of class. She gave him a kiss at the top of his head and let him run off, watching him with a small smile.

"Bethany?" A voice she would recognize anywhere said, sounding surprised.

She whirled around, feeling herself pale and her hands begin to sweat once her eyes landed on the much older man who was holding a pink backpack. "Alex" she breathed out, swaying forward involuntarily. "I…"

"You know, this is the last place I would have thought to find you," he half joked, coming closer to talk. "Are you babysitting?" 

"Um, no, I have a younger brother," she explained turning slightly to point to the blond boy running around the room with a huge grin on his face. "He takes ballet lessons. I was dropping him off."

"Oh that's nice of you. Kids can be a handful," he said with a small smile, taking one more unconscious step closer that placed him far too close for two strangers talking. 

But they weren't strangers. They were friends, or at least they had been, a few months ago. 

"I don't mind them," she said after a minute, when she realized she had stayed quiet for too long. "I, um, assume your daughter is here?" She said weakly, looking around the room.

"Yeah, she loves to dance. Come on, I'll introduce you," he said, placing his hand on the middle of he back to guide her towards his child.

Bethany forced herself to keep her breathing steady, feeling the heat of his touch despite the layer of clothes separating them. She let herself be led, keeping close to his side which was making everything worse, because she could feel his solid presence next to her, and she could do naught but feel desire pool in her belly.

She was _so_ fucked. 

"This is my daughter, Beth," he said when they finally reached a small girl, with long straight brown hair and big brown eyes. 

Bethany had no idea why Alex had not removed his hand from her back, but she was pretty sure that if she did not move away soon, she was going to lose her mind. So she did the most sensible thing; she dropped to a crouch to be at eye level with Alex's daughter.

"Hi Bethany," she said cheerfully. "I am so glad to meet you. Did you know we're name twins?" 

The girl's eyes opened wide like saucers and she smiled, excited by this piece of information. "That's awesome! Daddy there are three of us now!" 

Beth frowned, looking up at Alex through her long lashes. "Three of us?" 

Alex looked deeply uncomfortable but before he could answer his daughter beat him to it. "My dad's best friend is called Beth! I have never met her, but daddy says she is the coolest girl he's ever met. She's like a superhero, because she saved my daddy when he was younger. I wanna be as cool as her when I grow up." 

Beth couldn't help but gape, looking up at Alex with unshed tears in her eyes. Fuck, this was the worst time to get emotional but how was she supposed to react? Alex had talked to his kids about her, had made her into some kind of hero for them - and yet he had never even bothered to contact her once they were all out of the game.

She wasn't sure whether she was more angry or heartbroken. 

"Well she sounds awesome, Beth. But don't worry about being as cool as her, from what I can see you're already cooler. I mean your tutu? It's fire, girl."

The girl giggled and thanked Beth for the compliment before running off as class was about to start. Beth stayed crouch for a little while longer, collecting herself, before standing up next to Alex again.

He cleared his throat, shuffling on his feet awkwardly. "I… uh…"

"We should probably talk outside," Beth said finally, turning without waiting for assent from the man. She could feel him right behind her though, which meant she did not need to turn to ask him to follow again.

He grabbed her by the elbow once they were near the door and pulled her towards a small halfway that was bereft of people. 

"You're angry," he said - it wasn't a question.

"I just don't get it," Beth said quietly, looking anywhere but at his eyes. "I mean we come back and you don't call or text, which, I mean it's fine, it's your life. You don't want to hang out with a bunch of kids. But why talk about me to your daughter when you don't even want to talk _to_ me?" 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's not like that. I… It was amazing seeing all of you again. It still is. I can't tell you how happy I was when I finally laid eyes on you, but, Beth, it's been twenty years for me." He begged her with his eyes to understand. "I felt so lost when I got out and I couldn't find you guys. I couldn't really talk to anyone. I mean I talked to my dad, but I am pretty sure he never quite believed me. I just… it's not that I haven't wanted to talk to you guys, but the reality is it's kind of not okay for a man in his late thirties to be talking to a bunch of kids that are not even out of high school yet." 

Bethany bit her lip, and looked away. She understood, of course she did. She had had six months to overthink absolutely everything. Of course she knew why he didn't want, or simply couldn't, talk to them.

But - 

"I miss you," she suddenly blurted out, wanting to kick herself as soon as the words were out. 

Alex sighed, looking sadder than she had ever seen him. "I have missed you too," he said quietly as he hesitantly reached out. Beth allowed herself to be pulled forward, falling into his arms like two puzzle pieces coming together. He hugged her tightly to him, his arms burning like coal on her back. After a second of surprise, she raised herself up on her tiptoes and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him back with all the spent up months of pain. 

Her entire front was plastered to his own and she was losing oxygen fast. She couldn't quite think, using all of her remaining mental power not to moan at the flair of desire dancing in her veins. She knew better than anyone that this thing she felt for this man was not quite normal. It was more intense than anything she had felt before, which was exactly why she had no idea how to let him go.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed there; probably no more than a few seconds before he pulled away, gently disentangling them both. "I am sorry I haven't contacted you at all."

She shook her head. "It's fine," she said, even though it felt anything but. "I mean I get it, you are an adult now. Hanging out with teenagers probably doesn't sound like fun." 

"I can think of few things more fun than hanging out with you," he said seriously. "Please believe me, Bethany, it is _not_ about me not wanting to talk to you. It's just..." He bit his lip, and looked away, looking back a few seconds later, determination clear in his eyes. "Nevermind, it is not important. Grab a coffee with me. Right now."

"What?" Beth said dumbly, feeling like she was getting whiplash from the sudden change in attitude. 

"The class lasts two hours. Grab a coffee with me in the meantime. We can catch up then, and I can show you that I am not a complete ass." He gave her a lopsided smile. "Will you come with me?"

"Yes," Beth breathed out without a thought, her heartache feeling just slightly less oppressive as he smiled radiantly at her response.


	2. Small Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Your heart and my heart are old mates. They talk, but they never speak, as they speak in holy silence.  
> They beat, they never count, as they beat faster, more faster, as we meet.”  
> ― Mirza Sharafat Hussain Beigh

Bethany got into Alex's car in a daze, feeling hyper aware of the attractive man sitting to her left, looking at her with a softness her foolish heart was begging to misinterpret. And god she didn't _want_ to misinterpret, but she had always been a sucker for a good romance and it seemed like her mind was hell bent on making her believe she was living in one. All she could tell herself to try and calm her beating hear was _remember his wife_ , but that just lead her to notice the fact that, today, he wasn't wearing his ring. 

That in turn set off all kinds of bells in her mind, most of them tasting a little too much like hope for comfort. She had the question at the tip of her tongue, but she did not dare to say anything. She couldn't ask that of him; she couldn't show her hand so easily. He would be appalled if he knew she was still very much not over their _nonexistent_ love story. 

The drive was short, and Alex got out first to open the door for Bethany like the gentleman that he was, which just made her swoon harder. He was just as she remembered; sweet, gentlemanly, always ready to help her. They walked in silence to the door of the small coffee shop, and she thanked him as he held the door open for her. At that point, she wasn't even surprised that he let her order first only to then not let her pay for anything. Really, it was like he _wanted_ her to crush on him more. 

And yes, she would say crush, because if she even thought of that four letter word right now she would either turn and say something or burst into tears - and neither prospect was at all appealing. 

Alex put their drinks down on the table, picking a corner table that gave them a bit more privacy, which Bethany appreciated. It's not like she cared if they sat next to other people, but, that selfish part of her wanted to keep their conversation all to herself. As soon as she sat down, Bethany realized a couple of people sitting in nearby tables were giving them weird looks and her happiness melted away as the situation actually clicked in her mind. 

They thought she and Alex were out on a date. He was too young for people to assume he was her father, and she looked old enough that the go to assumption would always be that they were together. It also didn't help that he had indeed paid for their food, and the way they were clearly still comfortable around one another. _That_ was why Alex had been avoiding her all these months where he had subjected her to complete radio silence; he didn't want people making assumptions, and he likely didn't want Beth getting any ideas either. 

It was a bitter pill to swallow, but she could not ignore the truth. She couldn't forget even for a second the reality that Alex was not nor would he ever be hers. She didn't need her heart to be torn to pieces because she was acting like a lovesick dumbass. She also felt no desire to make him uncomfortable, which meant she needed to _get over this_ and quickly. 

"You okay?" He asked, shooting her a concerned look as he noticed a flash of heartbreaking pain in her eyes. It was there a second and gone the next, which made him doubt whether or not it had been there at all. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied automatically, plastering a smile on her face. She had been miss popularity for the majority of her life; if there was one thing she was good at, it was pretending that everything was peachy even when she was breaking inside. She wouldn't have gotten through her last year of middle school and her first year of high school otherwise. "So, what have you been up to for the past twenty years? Aside from getting married and having kids."

Alex huffed out a laugh that sounded a bit too bitter to be a happy sound. "Well my wife and I have decided to separate for a while, so I don’t know how great the first part is working out.” 

Bethany's heart almost stopped beating at that. "I'm sorry Alex. I didn't know," she said, and she hated herself with a passion for not meaning a word. 

“It’s fine, who knows, it may end up working out alright. We just… yeah we’ll see,” he said shuffling uncomfortably in his seat. This wasn't a topic he had spoken to anyone about, and it felt wrong, speaking about it to Bethany. “Marriage is always hard, but sometimes life leads you down paths that make it impossible to navigate, you know?” 

Bethany did not respond, because no she didn't know. She had never been married, and the only man she had ever truly been in lo- crush - with so far definitely didn't want her back so unfortunately she had very little experience in that area. Sex she was good with. Relationships? She had never had a real one, given that most people around her had never even given themselves the time to find the real her. The her that had not woken up until Jumanji had put life into perspective. 

"Sorry, I shouldn't bog you down with my old man problems," he said quietly, taking a long sip of his coffee. 

"You're not bogging me down," she corrected immediately, fighting the itch to reach out and squeeze his hand. She wasn't sure how welcome her touch would be. "I know we haven't talked in a long time, but we are… we were good friends. Telling me about your life could _never_ be a bother. I like listening to those I care about"

He smiled at her softly, touched by her words. "I am still your friend, Beth. And I know - I _know_ \- I haven't acted like one for the past six months, but I  _ am _ your friend.” 

“Right,” she replied tonelessly, aiming for nice but coming out sounding very disbelieving. 

Alex had the decency to look bashful. “Like I said it’s not you, it’s…” He shook his head. “Never mind. I, uh, will try to be a better friend from here on.” 

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Bethany said quietly. “The last thing I want is to make you feel weird. You have enough to deal with as an adult to also have to deal with... you know, a bunch of teenagers.” She could not bring herself to say me, because that would have been far too revealing, and she didn't - couldn't - see him recoil away right now. 

He tilted his head and smiled, his eyes filled with some emotion she did not recognize. “We’ll figure something out. The past six months have been… difficult for me. It would be nice to have you guys in my life again.” 

Bethany did not miss the fact that he did not single her out either but had rather used the collective as a shield. Did he know she still had feelings for him? Was this his way of making sure she understood he meant it as just friends? As if she didn’t already know. As if she didn't torment herself with that knowledge on the daily, as if it was her goddamn favorite hobby. 

“That’d be nice,” she said finally, because it really would be nice to have Alex in her life again. Yeah, maybe she would never get him how she wanted him, but she could at least be his friend. Right? She didn’t want to lose him. And she could do friendship. She _could._

"Anyway, changing the topic onto happier things; this is your last year of high school right?" He said as he sat back, looking relaxed once again. 

"Uh, yeah, just a month left to go," she said as she took a sip of her coffee. 

He smiled at her. "You must be excited. Finishing is always the best feeling. It's like a stamp of approval to move on to the next adventure." 

She shrugged. "Yeah, it'll be nice to be done. I-" 

Before she could say anything more, her phone pinged, a message lighting up the screen. She sighed as soon as she saw who it was from. The first line was enough to tell her she did  _ not  _ want to read it. She did not understand why people were so hellbent on being assholes to her. She had gone through a bit of self-growth; she hadn’t killed anybody. And yet, for Lucinda and company, every time she did something different, she became more of an alien - more of a target for their bullying. 

"Is everything okay?" Alex asked, noticing her expression.

"Yeah it's not important," she said tightly. "Just teenage drama."

Alex frowned, looking slightly frustrated. "Please don't feel like you can't share bits of your life with me. I’m not gonna judge you. If it upsets you, then you can tell me. I am your friend remember?" 

"It's just… I was a different person before going into Jumanji. Like a  _ completely  _ different person. I was shallow and annoying, and I didn't know how to live without my phone, but when I got out, I changed. A lot. And most of my old friends… let’s just say they didn't like that I changed." She tried to smile, but she was sure it looked more like a grimace. "It... hasn't been an easy six months for me either." 

"Well, it's their loss," he said firmly. "The girl I met in Jumanji was incredible. She had one of the biggest hearts I’ve seen. They'd be blind and stupid not to see that." 

She huffed a laugh, hating him a little because why could he just say things like that? Didn’t he realize just how much it affected Bethany when he was so sweet to her? It was hard to remind herself that he meant it in a strictly platonic sense, and likely wanted nothing to do with her when her heart so desperately wanted it to be more. 

“Yeah, well, I am a lot happier with the friends I have now - the life I am living now. But some people just don’t seem willing to let go," She said with a shrug, forcing herself to stay in the conversation and not retreat into her mind. 

Alex's frown deepened. “What do you mean?” 

“I agreed to go to prom with someone back in December, before... before Jumanji. We had gone on a few dates back then, but we didn’t… you know it wasn’t serious, and we stopped talking after the team and I came back. We both, you know, moved on with our lives - mostly - so I figured... I don’t know, I guess I forgot about it, and a few days ago he came up to me and reminded me, and I told him I probably won’t end up going, or if I do, I definitely would prefer to go with my friends, and he got...very upset.” 

“Did he do anything to you?” Alex asked, his concern clear in his voice. 

“No, he… I mean it’s okay. He just said some nasty things, but he didn’t like  _ do _ anything. But I guess he told our - well his - group of friends and so now my… old best friend is texting me, demanding to know why I am not going with him with some very strong language, and I just don’t want to deal with it," she said as she fixed her hair, making eye contact with the woman that seemed to be sneaking glances at every chance he got. 

It was making Bethany angry. 

“Well from where I am sitting you don’t owe her any explanations. Who you go with and what you do at your prom is up to you. You’re meant to enjoy it, and, I don’t know, if he keeps bothering you then maybe tell him you have a new date already.” 

“Yeah and then the day’s gonna come and I won’t have a date, and he’ll know I am lying and he’ll...” Bethany shook her head, not sure how to end the sentence. 

Alex looked more concerned by the minute. “I’m sure Fridge will go with you if he hasn’t got a date already,” Alex pointed out, likely trying to make Bethany feel better but only managing to make her feel worse somehow because, deep down, he was the one she truly wanted to go with. 

She hated feeling this way. 

“Yeah, maybe. We’ll see. I haven’t talked to the team about it. I know Spencer is going with Martha, but, yeah, maybe I will end up going with fridge.” 

Alex nodded and smiled, though it looked forced at best. “Good, let me know if this boy bothers you again.” 

Bethany bit her lip, suddenly feeling very hot under the collar, because fuck if that wasn’t the truth. All of the jackasses she had dated? All of the Noahs she had been forced to endure? All of the Noahs she was sure she would meet at college once she got there? They were all simply boys for Alex. Stupid, immature boys who hand’t yet lived their lives, hadn't yet confronted real problems. Alex, on the other hand was a _man_. A full grown man - a mature man, who had a job and owned a house and had faced who knows what in the past twenty years. 

The man Bethany wanted. 

She was _so_ fucked. 

“I mean, I don’t really have a way to contact you,” she blurted out without thinking, when she finally realized she had been quiet for a little too long. 

And wow what a dumb thing to say. She really needed to get her shit together when around Alex. 

“Oh, yeah, right. My bad, do you have… here,” he said as he pulled out his phone, unlocking it before handing it to Bethany. “It’ll be easier to chat this way.” 

She did not question him aloud, but boy did she knew this was a bad idea. She wasn’t sure how good of a self control she would have when given his number. She needed to get over her silly infatuation, and fast. Otherwise this whole "let's be friends" thing would not work, and the last thing she wanted was to lose Alex completely. 

Once she handed him back his phone, he smiled and put it away. “I’ll make sure to text you so that you can save my phone number. Now, I think we’ve been scandalous enough for a day. I don’t want to get killed by that that old woman,” he said half in jest, half seriously. 

Bethany didn’t need to turn to know which lady he was talking about, but now she was  _ really  _ mad. She refused to let this woman ruin her time with Alex; more importantly, she refused to let this lady think she had won by shaming them into leaving. If Beth was with Alex, she would be damn proud of the fact. And, more importantly, she refused to let this lady make Alex uncomfortable. She already knew she would never get him, but damn it Bethany was a fucking  _ catch,  _ and he shouldn’t be uncomfortable to think they might be seen as an item. 

She wasn’t sure it was the anger or sheer teenage hormonal impulse that made her finish her coffee in one go, before getting up and offering her hand to Alex. 

He took it with only a slight bit of hesitation, the question of what the hell Bethany was doing clearly at the tip of his tongue. That cemented her resolve and she pulled him up and draped her arm around his waist, using her short height and slight frame to its fullest advantage to wiggle herself close, pulling him gently forward as she began walking. Alex did not voice his confusion, instead dropping his arm to drape around her shoulders, to keep either of them from falling, she assumed. 

The touch was light, and rather proper, considering most boys she knew would have already dropped their arm to her waist or further down to squeeze her ass. Alex kept it friendly, going partially along with whatever it was Bethany was trying to prove. She appreciated his effort, and swallowed down the rather improper desire that he let his hand drop, the desire for him to pull her closer while in public. Instead, she contented herself with flashing a sharp smile to the woman that was looking at them well and truly horrified now. 

She did not look back as the exited the cafeteria and she did not let Alex go until they reached his car. 

“Are you gonna explain to me what that was about?” Alex said, sounding a bit strangled. 

Right. That had been a very bad idea. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying the story! I will try to update roughly once a week. Thankfully, I have written ahead a bit, so I have a few chapters done, but I prefer to give myself that breathing room because I am a master student, which means once the semester starts I will be hard pressed on time.


	3. Mixed signals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You see in all my life I’ve never found what I couldn’t resist, what I couldn’t turn down.  
> I could walk away from anyone I ever knew,  
> but I can’t walk away from you."  
> \- Billy Joel

“Sorry” was the first thing Bethany blurted out once her mind caught up with her actions. “I just…” she began pacing, not able to meet his inquisitive gaze. “It didn’t sit well with me, that she would judge us, just based on appearance, because what the hell does she know about us? Nothing. So she has no place to judge, and, honestly, if we were together, I wouldn’t be ashamed. I would be happy and proud to be with the one person in this world that understands what I’ve been through. So, no, I wasn’t going to let her think she won by shaming us.” 

Alex sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Bethany, I am 37 going on 38 and you’re, what, 18? Of course she’s going to judge us, I would too! You didn’t have to do that. It’s not… look, I know we-”

“Please stop,” Bethany said, knowing she would not be able to stomach whatever it was he was going to say. She already knew it would never happen; she didn’t need him giving her all the reasons for that. She did not need his rationality or his pity. “I get it, Alex. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just couldn’t let her have the moral high ground like that when she just doesn’t have it. And you know she doesn't have it.” 

Alex shook his head, clearly not wanting to argue but feeling as if he had no choice. “Look, Beth, I… just please don’t do that. I don’t want people getting the wrong impression... and I don’t want _you_ getting the wrong impression either," he added the latter a few seconds later, almost as an afterthought - something he hadn't even considered possible. 

As if Bethany was as calm at seeing him as he was seeing her. As if it had been twenty years for her too, when it had only been months. As if she hadn't fallen head over heals for him and now had no idea how to shake it all off. Bethany wanted to scream; scream at the universe for dealing her such a cruel hand, scream at him both for feeling the need to remind her every few minutes that they were not a thing and for making her feel so utterly lacking, scream at herself for being such a stupid _teenage_ ass hat who couldn't help but be in love with the man standing in front of her. 

"Don't worry," she said finally when she felt herself enough in control to not cry or scream at him the second she opened her mouth. She refused to break down in front of him. "I am _very_ aware of the fact that we're not together nor will we ever be." The words tasted bitter in her mouth, but she did her best not to let the hurt show. He would probably be uncomfortable by her hurt anyway. 

He grimaced, looking genuinely pained at her words, which made absolutely no sense and only served to fuel her anger more. "Beth-"

"I think we should get going," she said as she took a step back - a symbolic line in the sand being drawn to protect herself from more pain. She couldn't handle this right now, not without breaking down completely and neither of them wanted that - albeit for different reasons. "I think I've taken enough of your time." 

"Bethany-" the man said, sounding frustrated by the situation. His hands twitched, why she didn't know, as he took a step forward, begging her with his eyes - for what she had no idea. Whatever it was that had compelled him to reach out for her physically dissipated and he seemed to think better of it because he swallowed hard and looked away, taking a step back at the same time. "Right, you're right. Let's go." 

Beth swallowed back the lump in her throat and headed to the passenger side, feeling like a moron. A part of her had foolishly hoped that he would not drop it so quickly. She wanted him to say whatever it was that he had been about to say. She wanted him to grab her by the wrist as he had been intending to, and pull her closer. She wanted him to apologize and comfort her. In short, she was delusional. Why did she have to push her luck so much? He had offered her coffee and a chat - a tentative friendship, if you will. And she had gone and messed everything up by pushing for more, by being greedy with his affections and making him uncomfortable. 

A part of her wanted to apologize to him, tell him it would never ever happen again, but she could not find her voice. She didn't want to lose him and yet she couldn't look at him, for fear of what she'd find there. He didn't seem to know what to say either, for he did not speak for the rest of the ride, letting the awkwardness in the air build to stifling levels. Bethany tried her best not to squirm. 

As soon as they reached the parking lot, Bethany undid her belt buckle, rushing to open the door to get out, to let air into the car which was drowning her in guilt, and shame, and desire. She needed to get as far away from him as possible. She needed to cry, and she wasn't even sure why . Before she could leave, however, Alex grabbed her hand softly, freezing her in place. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, and she felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

Was he gonna say something then? Would he pull her closer or would he push her away? Did she even want to know?

She turned to look at him, a question clear in her eyes. He let go almost immediately though, his hand trembling, before he shook his head softly as he stopped himself once again from saying whatever it was he wanted to say. Bethany felt the urge to shake him, to force whatever it was out - either to hurt her or to absolve her. But it was clear he would offer neither road to her, leaving her drowning with no end in sight. 

"Thanks for coffee," she said quietly, because her mother raised a lady thank you very much, before all but running out of the car and into the semi safety of the school where she could ignore her embarrassment long enough to pick up her brother. 

She was the first there, given that the class was not over, which gave her more than enough time to go over everything in her head. She was tired - she didn't want to feel this way. She wanted to feel indifferent towards him and found that she couldn't. She wanted to ignore the fact that her wrist felt like it was on fire from just an innocent little touch, but the more she ignored it, the more she throbbed with the need to go back outside to talk to him. 

She pulled out her phone, desperate for a distraction. She texted Martha privately, asking for the one thing her friend had been not so subtly asking for since January. 

_Hey Ms. Killer-of-men, wanna go get your prom dress with me?_

Martha was, as always, quick to respond to her message. 

_YES. We can shop together! I am def gonna need your help. I suck at this whole girl stuff_

_LOL don't worry I'll make sure you look fierce that day. I can do your hair & make-up if ya want. _

_OMG you're the best Beth!!!!_

_;)_

Bethany smiled to herself, her friend's simple excitement enough to calm her down a bit. She could do this - she just had to get over Alex and everything would be fine. 

* * *

"Talk about Ruby Roundhouse, damn girl you're looking so good!" Bethany gushed as she came closer to turn Martha around, squeezing her friend's arms gently at the sight of her blush. 

"Isn't it too much?" Martha asked self consciously as she smoothed down the silky fabric of the right dress. It was a beautiful wine colored dress with black satin accents that hug beautifully around her figure, accentuating her soft curves. It was not particularly long, which allowed for her fit legs to shine, much to her mortification and Bethany's absolute excitement.

"Are you kidding? Spencer is going to be an incoherent mess and I am going to record every second of it. You are looking fabulous girlfriend," Bethany said with a wink as she gave her friend a half hug. "You have to take this one, M."

Martha gave her a half smile "only if you stop being a party killer and come to prom too!"

Bethany chuckled. "Oh come on, don't be dramatic. You're gonna spend most of your time there with Spencer, you won't even notice I'm not there!"

"But I want to have fun not just with Spencer but with the _team_. We've never gone to a party together as a group. C'mon Beth, we'll keep you away from Noah, and we can drink to guys being callous jackasses," she said with a hopeful smile. 

Bethany snorted, knowing exactly who Martha was referring to without using as many words. "He's not callous," she said quietly, mostly to herself, as she walked away to stand by the piles of dresses Martha had picked for her to try. She didn't even know why she was defending him, but it felt wrong not to. He had done absolutely nothing wrong, after all. It was her that had foolishly fallen in love, not Alex. 

She picked up a beautiful silk silver dress, that was strapless on one side and had a full sleeve on the other. It certainly looked tight, and rather short at the bottom which could be an issue if she just so much as looked at the ground, but she couldn't help but make an appreciative noise. She hadn't worn something this revealing since they had gone to Jumanji. After that mess of a game she had begun favoring a little more clothing, and running shoes, just to be prepared for any eventuality. 

"Oh niiice, go try it!" Martha encouraged, all but dragging Bethany into the first open changing room. 

She rolled her eyes but did as she had been commanded, shivering slightly at the feel of the silky material against her naked skin. She let her hair down as she walked out, smiling at Martha's flabbergasted expression.

"I think we need to re-examine who the killer of men is out of the two of us. Damn, Beth, you look… I don't even have words." Martha said as she moved away from the mirror to let Bethany look at herself. 

She smiled at her own reflection, appreciative of the dual nature of the dress; you could see nothing and yet it teased everything. It was playful, yet elegant. It had both a bit of the old her and a bit of the new, which honestly made her feel good about her look. She twirled around once, her smile fading softly as the now ever-intrusive thought permeated her mind. 

_What would Alex think of this dress?_

Would he like it if he were there to appreciate it? Or would he say it was much too revealing for public outings? Would he be jealous of others looking at her, or would he be proud to have Bethany on his arm? Would he like being on display with her or would the clear vibrant youth exuding from every atom of her skin make him uncomfortable when their ages were inevitably compared? Would he kiss her in this dress or avoid touching her? Would he undress her with his eyes? 

_Fucking hell she had to stop, what the fuck?_

She forced her eyes closed as an unwilling blush rose to color her cheeks. She really needed to get it together and she needed to get her mind the hell out of the gutter. The last thing she needed was to start imagining sexualized scenarios that involved Alex. What the hell did it matter what Alex thought? He had made it very clear already the thought of them together made him uncomfortable, and he had not texted her after that fateful coffee date. Outing. Whatever it had been. 

That was a pretty damn clear indication that he did not want to get involved with Bethany in any way shape or form and that she needed to back off. 

With that thought in mind, she turned away from the mirror, a part of her no longer wanting to buy the dress. She put it in the shopping cart alongside martha’s, however, because she would be damned if she let a stupid boy problem bring her down. Yes, she did not want to go to prom anymore, this was true; but if she had to do so, then she would look like a damn princess and to hell with anyone else's opinion. 

“Are the boys joining us for lunch? I still need to corner Fridge to ask if he will go with me to prom,” Bethany said quietly, half as a reminder to herself. 

“Yeah, they should be here soon,” Martha confirmed, squeezing her arm. “If Fridge can’t go, I have a nice cousin you could go with. Not the cutest, not gonna lie, especially considering the competition, but he’s really fun.” 

Bethany snorted, knowing that Martha was subtly talking about Alex. “I mean there’s no real competition - none that’s interested anyway.” 

“Well you’re a damn catch, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise,” Martha bristled, insulted at the very idea that someone wouldn’t be able to see that. Bethany appreciated the sentiment. 

This was one of the many reasons why Bethany loved her; the girl was firmly in her corner. 

“Please tell me you girls are done shopping, I don’t wanna deal with three hours of looking at dresses that all look the same,” Fridge half teased half whined from a few meters away once he had spotted the two young women sharing a hug. 

Bethany rolled her eyes but turned to greet her friends with a smile. “First of all, looking fabulous sometimes takes a little time. Second, you take longer looking at football jerseys so shut it, hotshot.” 

Fridge chuckled, pulling her into a bear hug before turning to look at their choice of outfits. “Damn, these look nice! Y’all are gonna dazzle.” 

“Speaking of dazzling,” Bethany said, suddenly feeling nervous. What if he said no? What if he took it the wrong way? “Wouldyougotopromwithme?” 

Fridge turned to look at her with a frown. “Was I supposed to get whatever it was you were mumbling at breakneck speed? Because, girl, I wasn’t prepared for that,” he said, quirking his brow and giving her the most judgmental look he could come up with that immediately made his friend laugh. 

“I was asking if you’d like to go to prom with me,” she said slower this time, her heart still beating wildly. “I… kinda ditched Noah, but Martha convinced me to go and I don’t wanna go alone, especially since my old my friends will be there. And, well… I don’t know if I have to endure prom, I’d like to go with someone I genuinely like and want to spend time with.” 

Fridge chuckled, but offered his hand for them to do the secret handshake they had practiced for a solid week given that Bethany was not used to such intricate greetings. “Dawg, of course I’ll come with you. Girl, we’re a _team._ I got ya. We can even color coordinate if you want.” 

Bethany jumped into his arms as soon as the handshake was done, giving him a heartfelt hug as she said “Thank you, Fridge.” 

He didn’t say anything as he patted her back softly, offering quiet comfort as he usually did whenever he sensed she was feeling blue. 

Bethany had not kept her news about Alex a secret. She had told her friends from day one how she felt about him, and she had also told them about their meeting at Hunter’s ballet class. She was extremely grateful for them; they always called her out on her bullshit but they didn’t judge her. Martha had told her straight up that she shouldn’t have grabbed his arm, and that she needed to try to move on. Fridge had then offered to introduce her to some of his friends that could potentially go out with her and show her a nice time so she could move on. Spencer, who had very little romantic experience and had not watched enough rom-coms (like Martha), had quietly made Bethany her favorite dinner and had sent Fridge out to get ice cream. 

So, yeah, the team had come through for her in every possible way - which made her genuinely grateful for the shitshow that had been Jumanji given the people it had brought into her life.

“Beth, you okay?” Spencer asked, gently touching her elbow to draw her attention. 

“Yeah I am fine,” she replied on autopilot as she broke out of her reverie. “Just thinking,” she explained with a wink. “Alright, let’s pay for this so we can go eat. Otherwise Fridge won’t take me to prom.” 

* * *

_I heard Prom is tomorrow. Did you end up asking Fridge to go with you or did that boy stop bothering you?_

Bethany looked down at her phone, a frown firmly plastered on her face. The only person outside her gang that she had told about prom was Alex. But surely it wasn't Alex texting her? After a month of radio silence, she wasn't sure whether to be mad or impressed at his ballsy move. Did he just expect her to pick up from where they had left off, as if nothing had happened? 

_Alex?_

She scrunched her eyes closed, because gosh was that a dumb question but also she needed textual confirmation that she wasn't going insane. That he actually was texting her - that he actually believed just a random text could fix everything. 

_Yeah. Sorry I haven't texted, life's been busy and then… sorry. I freaked out a bit last time we met up and it was not okay. I didn't know what to say afterwards, but I have been wanting to text you for a while._

Bethany bit her lip, unsure as to how to answer to that. She could say "it's fine" but it hadn't been fine. None of this was fine. It had been the right thing for him to do, she had to at least admit that; she understood why he had needed to set that strict boundary with her but her heart was breaking a piece at a time and so it wasn't fine. She wasn't fine. And she refused to let him off the hook because while she did not blame him for setting boundaries, he had hurt her and had not reached out at all later to fix things. 

_I did ask Fridge. He's gonna pick me up at 5, so we can go to dinner with Spencer & Martha first _

She wasn't sure if that was the right answer to give, but she wasn't sure what else to say. She still wanted to talk to him - but she refused to absolve him.

_Good. Have fun! And stay safe, please. Let me know if you need anything._

_I'll try my best to stay safe lol._

Bethany dropped her phone on her desk after that, dragging herself to her bed. She couldn't help the small smile that lit her up from the inside, which happened every time she was the center of Alex's attention. At the same time, the tinge of annoyance at herself for feeling this was was more present today than ever. 

Hopefully one day it would pass, and she would be able to have a conversation with him without feeling twenty different things in the span of 5 minutes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait I have been crazy busy the past 2 weeks! I hope you enjoy the chapter :D


	4. Prom gone wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for some non-con inappropriate touching and aggressive behavior (NOT between Alex and Beth)
> 
> “I guess what scares me the most now is the thought that I won't be able to protect you”  
> ― Julia Hoban

“We should have gotten pre-drinks after dinner,” Fridge said with a put upon sigh. “Now we’re gonna have to wait until we’re out of here to go to a proper party and get slashed.” 

“Or, you know, we could take care of our livers tonight,” Martha said playfully. “It’s not like we need drinks to be honest. And you know I am not used to drinking, so if we had had them before, I wouldn’t have been able to walk straight into the school gym.” 

Fridge smirked. “I am sure Spencer would have helped keep you upright, Martha.” 

“Last time he had a cocktail he threw up, remember?” Bethany said absently, smiling at the memory. 

They had tried to make pink cocktails at her house a few months back, mostly because neither Spencer nor Martha liked the bitter taste of most drinks and both Bethany and Fridge were slightly concerned for them now that college was approaching. In all honesty, she hoped they would both stay away from alcohol - they could have fun without it - but she also knew they would be heavily exposed to it and she wanted them to be able to at least have one drink without getting drunk. 

Their attempt at cocktails had been rather unsuccessful, sadly, as Spencer’s body had not been able to handle the mixture of drinks in the cocktail and had ended up throwing up about halfway through the glass. It had also not helped that he had not had anything to eat before that (and hadn’t told them like a dumbass) and he had drank it far too fast for someone not used to drinking. That, she would blame Fridge for, since he had been the one racing Spencer because they sometimes acted like three year olds. 

So, yes, all in all Beth was more than okay to keep both Spencer and Martha away from alcohol. That being said, a part of her was itching for a drink, something to burn down her throat and distract her from all the bullshit that had been happening to her lately. She also would prefer to at least be one shot in by the time Noah inevitably found her and began talking to her despite the fact she had no desire to speak to him. She really had lucked out not dating that asshole. Every time she came across him she realized just how entitled he really was. 

“Yo, Beth, you a’right?” Fridge said as he snapped his fingers in front of Bethany’s face, clearly having been calling her for a while. 

She couldn’t help but blush slightly in embarrassment. “Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, got distracted. Do you think they managed to sneak in drinks?” She asked without much preamble. She was sure if there was someone that would help her find some alcohol it would be Fridge. 

Fridge grinned. “I mean my guys in the football team probably did. Why, you want me to get ya something? I thought you said something about solidarity with Martha and Spencer and whatever.” 

She huffed “yeah well, I changed my mind. This party is just… a lot to handle right now. Too many faces I don’t want to deal with and just… a lot of things I don’t want to think about.” 

“Alright, I’ll go see if they snuck anything in,” He said with a wink, leaving Bethany alone near the dance floor. "If someone comes knocking tell them you have a hot date coming back for you!" 

She shook her head and smiled at his antics. Just as fridge was leaving the song Bethany had requested for Spencer and Martha began playing. She had asked the DJ - an old friend of hers that thankfully didn’t hate her like most of the others - to play it as soon as he spotted them. True to his words, he had done it, Bob Marley’s song leaving her two best friends squealing. 

Bethany turned to look at them, for a second forgetting about her own idiotic pain because, honestly, this was the one good thing Jumanji had left them with; their friendships and Martha’s and Spencer’s love. 

“Come on! What are you waiting for? Go dance!” She said, all but pushing the two to the dance floor, laughing to herself as they blushed beet red. While they loved dancing when it was just the four of them, they definitely were not used to crowds, but, honestly, it wasn't going to kill them to let loose for one night. 

Thankfully, she did not have to stay alone for long, as Fridge returned to her side faster than expected, drinks in hand. He passed her one of the dubious looking beverages saying “I have no fucking clue what they mixed, but it doesn’t taste as bad as it looks.” 

Bethany hummed and took a sip, grimacing as it burned its way down her throat. Whatever it was, the football team had definitely gone all out, probably thinking to go out with a bang given that this would likely be the last party with all of their grade. 

_ How’s the party going? _

If Bethany was surprised to see who was texting her right now, she made sure not to show it on her face. She didn't want Fridge to steal her phone to avoid her looking sad and she also didn't want him looking at her pityingly. Still, she couldn’t avoid the way her heart immediately sped up at the thought of the sweet but idiotic man currently checking up on her. 

She had likely left him unsettled when she had told him about Noah’s aggressive approach, and he wanted to make sure she was okay. It was noble, and sweet, and so much like Alex it hurt her insides. She knew she shouldn't but she wanted so much more. She wanted him here dancing with her, wanted him complimenting her and making her smile. 

Without thinking too hard about it, she pressed record on her phone, swaying to the beat of the song that was so familiar to all of them. 

_ Oh wow, I haven’t heard that one in a long time! Brings back a lot of memories.  _

_ Isn’t it a bit old for prom in this day and age though?  _

_ I requested it. Figured Martha and Spencer would at least dance to that one lol  _

_ Aw, that’s quite sweet. I’m glad you guys are having fun. I know it’s silly, but let me know once you get out, ok? I wanna make sure you get home safe.  _

Bethany bit her lip, a part of her wanting desperately to ask him why he cared. Why he continued to make her feel like she was worth so much more to him than what she actually was. It was a risky question, however, and she had no intention of destroying whatever friendship he was trying to establish. Besides, it was quite sweet of him to check up. It was innocent. She had to remember that. 

So she did the next best thing; she drowned the whole cup Fridge had brought her. 

“Damn, are you okay? I don’t think you should be drinking that fast. You’re not a 200 pound man anymore, girl,” Fridge said, taking the now empty cup from Bethany’s hands to place it on the nearest table. “What’s up tonight, B? I thought you didn't want to get drunk tonight.” 

She shook her head, feeling the effects of the alcohol a lot faster than expected. Everything was starting to look a little less sharp, and her ever whirling mind slowed down, numbing the pain of feeling alone and the discomfort tonight brought to bearable levels. She grabbed fridge by the hand and dragged him to the dance floor without a word. 

“Bethany-” her friend started, concern clear on every line of his face. 

“I’m okay, I promise. I just want to have fun tonight, and I can’t do that if I am overthinking everything. Let’s just.. Dance,” she said as she unclipped a part of her hair, letting half of it fall down. 

Fridge sighed but acquiesced, bringing her closer to sway to the bit of the music. Bethany hummed underneath her breath, before providing running commentary as she remembered the way Martha had kicked the shit out of those two guards. Fridge chuckled before whirling Beth, clearly wanting her to enjoy herself. He swayed them in time with the music, making sure not to shake her too much as she had had quite a large drink in too short a period of time. Bethany chuckled, thankful for her years as a cheerleader that helped her keep up with the beat despite the dizziness. She hadn’t gone out dancing in a long time, and, honestly, she was glad she was out with a friend that wouldn’t let her embarrass herself too terribly. 

“Yo, fridge!” one of the guys from the football said as he all but crashed into them, interrupting their dance. 

Bethany blinked up at him, trying her hardest to remember the guys’ name with little success. Not that she cared much right this second - it had been very rude of him to interrupt them like this. 

“Yo, careful Jim! We’re dancing here man,” Fridge said, clearly annoyed, as he tightened his hold on Bethany’s waist to make absolutely sure his tipsy friend would not fall on her ass. He knew she would murder him if he let her embarrass herself in public. 

“Man, come on! It’s time to bail, the real party’s about to start,” he said as he shot Bethany a sheepish smile as a way of apology. 

“But we’re at the party,” Bethany said confused, feeling a little too slow at the moment to understand anything more than the literal meaning of words. 

The guy snorted and shook his head. “Nah, this party’s lame. They already confiscated half the alcohol. I mean Jackson’s party! His parents are out of town. C’mon man, we’re fully stocked and we got the house for the whole night, it’s gonna be lit! Also he ordered like ten kinds of wings and pizza.” 

Fridge bit the inside of his cheek, clearly wanting to go, but not exactly willing to leave Bethany alone. “I came with my friends, man. Maybe I can catch y’all later.” 

“Oh, c’mon Fridge, don’t be like that! You can bring them, it’s fine! Besides, we’ve been wanting to meet your nerd gang for a while. It’ll be fun! We’ll behave, I promise. I won't let anyone be mean to them, _and_ we can all have a proper night out.” 

Fridge looked unsure, and Bethany felt bad. She didn’t like holding her friends back, and Fridge had been the one to sacrifice the most to keep being part of their little gang. “You can go, Fridge it’s okay. I can stay with Martha and Spencer.” 

The young man shook his head. “No I ain’t leaving you guys. That’s not cool.” 

Bethany bit her lip; she was already at a party she didn’t want to be at, what was one more? 

“Maybe we can all go then. I’ll talk to Martha and Spencer, and we can all go in maybe half an hour or something, so that they have some time to dance here.” 

Fridge’s smile was worth the certainty that Bethany was going to suffer through the night. Out of all of them, Fridge was the one that had kept the majority of his old friends. It wasn’t that he hadn’t changed; he had. He had better priorities now, and he loved his new team. He looked out for them and he made sure people respected his friends, but he had been playing football with his team for a long time now, and he - unlike the others - had never had bad experiences with the “popular” crowd he had been a part of for so long.  So, while Bethany appreciated how accommodating he was to the team, she knew they also had to make an effort for him to at least socialize with his friends. 

Now she just had to convince Martha and Spencer to suffer with her. 

* * *

Ok so she was already regretting her choice to convince her friends to come to Jackson’s party to support fridge. All of her former friends were here, along with some other unsavory faces she had long stayed away from. But Fridge seemed elated to see his old friends who were quick to drag him away from his Jumanji team, and it seemed even the less popular kids in school had made it to the party, because some of Spencer’s friends were there, calling him and Martha over. She told them all to go ahead, of course she did. She wanted her friends to have fun, and it was rather sweet that they all promised to come back soon. She knew it would likely not end up being the case - but, hey, the thought was what counted. 

Still, this left Bethany alone, feeling more than a bit tipsy, at a party she certainly didn’t want to be at, with people she did not wish to talk to. So, not ideal. Not ideal at all. 

_ Well Prom ended up being a failure _

She closed her eyes hard, mentally berating herself for immediately turning to Alex when presented with this newfound inconvenience. His response was faster than expected. 

_ Why? What happened?  _

_ Fridge’s football team invited him over for a party so I convinced everyone to come here because Fridge rarely gets to hang out with his friends. So now we’re at the Whitley’s house  _

_ So your date ditched you?  _

_ Martha and Spencer did too, lol. Some of their friends are here but it’s fine, they’re all having a good time, which was the goal. I mean I can go find them and just add myself to the conversation they wouldn't mind. But I want them all to have fun for a bit just with their old groups you know?  _

_ It’s your prom too, though. You deserve to have fun.  _

_ Can you leave soon? Is that boy there?  _

_ Listen, after a few more drinks I am sure I’ll be having fun ;)  _

_ Yeah he’s part of the team. I haven’t seen him yet though  _

_ Please be careful Bethany . Find Fridge or something, I don't think you should be there alone.  _

“Hey Beth!” Lucinda said as she approached the blonde, two drinks in hand. “I’m so glad you came! I kinda assumed we wouldn’t see you here.” 

Bethany forced herself to smile and accept the drink Lucinda was offering. “Yeah, uh, Fridge wanted to come, and so he and some of our friends came. I don’t know how long I am staying though.” 

“Wait, are you dating Fridge?” She asked, looking very surprised. 

“What? No, he’s just a good friend. We’re not interested in each other,” she said, not ever willing to admit aloud who she was  _ actually _ interested in. She took a large gulp of the drink before switching topics. “So, how have you been? Excited to be done?” 

“Oh my god, yes. I was so done with this semester. I’ve been needing a break for forever. I also can’t wait to get to college. I mean, they say the parties are lit,” she said as she swayed forward, giving Bethany a sly smile before finishing her drink. 

“I bet,” Bethany said, taking another gulp of her drink to avoid having to say more. At this rate she was gonna be well and truly drunk by the end of the night. “I, uh, should probably go find Fridge and the others.” 

“Oh, no! Come on stay a little. We haven’t hung out in so long,” Lucinda said, grabbing Bethany by the hand and giving her a sweet smile. “Pleeeease,” she said, pouting exaggeratedly to make Bethany laugh.

Bethany wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, or the fact that she didn’t want to feel so  _ alone  _ tonight, but Lucinda’s idea sounded genuinely… enjoyable. 

And so she allowed herself to be dragged deeper into the house to what she assumed was the living room, where a part of the football team was chilling with drinks in hand, watching some game she had no interest in. 

“Beth!” Ethan said from where he was sitting, waving them over with a happy grin. As soon as they were close, he offered them both fresh drinks. Thus, Bethany downed what was left in her glass and grabbed the next, a part of her just wanting to stop thinking tonight. 

She all but sank into the couch, earning a laugh from the boy sitting to her right. He pulled her close by her waist, trying to kiss her cheek and missing by a mile due to his drunkenness, thus ending on her neck. Bethany squirmed under his touch, starting to feel uncomfortable. She wasn’t quite sure what to say, however, given that - as far as she could tell - it had been an honest mistake, given the way he was now laughing against her neck while trying to apologize. 

She tried her best to tune him out - and to create space between them - by turning to Lucinda, but her friend was neck deep into a kiss with a guy Bethany was pretty sure she had never seen and she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to find out. So, she was forced to put her attention back on the boy who kept bringing her fucking closer, his hand now on her ass. She tried moving away, but his hold did not sway. 

She wasn’t so sure the kiss to her neck had been accidental anymore. A part of her - the sober part of her needed to get help, and fast. She needed someone she trusted here to get this creep to let go without causing a scene. He wasn't looking at her, just focusing on the screen but his damn hand was still on her ass and she wanted to scream. So she did the first thing that came to her drunk addled mind; she picked up her phone. 

_ Y do boys grt so clibgy whn theyre drunk  _

_ Bethany, are  _ **_you_ ** _ drunk?  _

_ Alittle  _

_ Ijus’t dont want him to tuch me like this yknow? Hw do I make him stp?  _

_ What?! Who’s touching you? Is it that boy again? Tell him to let go of you. Scream if you have to. Call your friends, are they not nearby?  _

_ Help me  _

That was the last thing she was able to text before Noah, whom she had not seen coming, snatched the phone out of her hand, looking furious. “So you ditch me for prom, to hook up with my best friend? What the fuck?” 

Bethany gaped at him, her reaction time a lot slower due to the amount of alcohol she had ingested in less than 2 hours. “I didn’t-”

She was unable to finish her sentence as Noah grabbed her violently by her arm, effectively pulling her away from the other boy. The rough handling almost sent her tumbling to the ground, but she was able to stop the fall by bracing herself against his chest. 

“Let me go,” she said immediately, trying to pull away, but he was stronger. 

‘C’mon man, take it easy Noah. We weren’t doing anything,” his friend said from where he was sitting, far too drunk to be of any help.

“Shut the fuck up Ethan,” Noah growled before all but dragging Bethany out of the room, his hold tight enough to bruise. 

No one paid them any mind, and Bethany was not sober enough to identify any friendly faces to help her out of this situation. She kept trying to pull away, but he did not let her, instead dragging them out of the house. 

“Noah… Noah, let me go! You’re hurting my arm!” 

“Good,” he growled as he reached his car, pushing her against it. “What the  _ fuck  _ Bethany? How could you-”

“I didn’t come here with Ethan, Noah,” she said, leaning most of her weight against the car. She was starting to feel nauseous; the rough handling certainly had not helped. “I didn’t even know he was here.” 

“Didn’t look that way to me. I mean do you let any random stranger touch you like that?” 

“I don’t know if you noticed but I was trying to get  _ away  _ from him you jackass. I just didn’t want to cause a scene - like you’re doing right now. Now give me my phone back.” 

“Or what? You’ll go back to letting Ethan grab your ass?” He said as he easily put the phone high above his head, while Bethany tried in vain to reach for it. 

After a few minutes of struggling she said “stop being an asshole,” leaning against the car again as the swaying was far too strenuous for her current condition. Fuck, she shouldn’t have drunk this much. She wasn’t plastered, but coordination was definitely a problem, and the room would not stop spinning. “Noah please… just… I didn’t want to be here to start with. I am here with Fridge; just give me my phone and I’ll leave.” 

“Oh so it’s not only Ethan. It’s Fridge too. Who’s next, huh?” Before he could answer, Bethany’s phone pinged with yet another message. Noah brought it down to see, keeping Bethany from reaching her phone by pushing her against the car. “Who the hell is Alex?” 

Bethany all but clawed his hand away. “That’s none of your fucking business. Now give me my phone!” 

He stepped closer to her, his breath reeking of alcohol “Ethan, Fridge, Alex… Wow, Bethany, I didn’t know you were such a-”

“Don’t you dare finish that fucking sentence,” she growled as she pushed back against him, her anger fueling her forward. “You don’t get to judge me for  _ anything  _ I do. I’m not your fucking girlfriend. I never was, so get off your fucking high horse and give me my phone back.”

“Oh so we’re going to forget that you practically begged me to-”

She managed to snatch her phone back by all but jumping him, sending him tumbling to the ground with her. Once she had her phone safely clutched in her right hand, she pushed him away, rolling on the grass herself to get up. 

The rough motions had left her even more nauseous than before and so, before standing up she forced herself to breathe deeply a few times, to try and settle her stomach. She hated everything right now; she just wanted to go home. 

It seemed that Noah also needed a second to gather his bearings, because he grunted next to her. However, as soon as he righted himself, he grabbed Bethany again, sending them both tumbling to the ground, with him on top. 

“Get the fuck off me!” She all but screeched, kicking her legs out to destabilize him. She had stopped trusting Noah the day he had gotten angry at her for not going with him to prom, but right now, she could well and truly say she felt  _ terrified. _ Whatever it was he was trying to accomplish, it wasn’t going to end well for her.  __

They struggled for a bit, and she grunted in pain as his jacket got caught with the bottom of her dressed and pulled up, ripping a part of it and singing her skin in the process. Thankfully, someone finally noticed the commotion because one second Noah's weight was crushing her, and the next he was on his back a few meters away. 

Bethany blinked fast, trying to sit up as best she could. She looked up, to thank however had come to her rescue, and froze when he realized who it was.

"Alex," she breathed out, reaching out unconsciously like a moth to the flame.

"It's okay, you're safe now. Can you stand-"

"What the fuck man?" Noah said as he stood up slowly, his movements still sluggish from the alcohol. 

Alex whirled to face him, grabbing Noah by the collar of his shirt and slamming the boy hard against the car he had been pinning Bethany against a second ago. He shook him where he stood, forcing Noah to stand up on his tiptoes to look Alex in the eye. 

"You so much as  _ look _ at Bethany again, boy, and I will personally break your face," Alex growled dangerously, his eyes flashing with the promise of murder. 

Alex threw Noah to the side again like a ragdoll, as if he weighed nothing. He then turned around without looking back again, clearly done with the conversation. He approached Bethany slowly, but she seemed to be frozen in place, her eyes glassy and unseeing.

"Bethany?" Alex asked, and she did not answer, her eyes still glassy and haunted looking. The man sighed, making a split second decision where he picked her up bridal style given that, after two more minutes of waiting, she was still frozen on the floor.

While he would have much preferred Bethany to show some sign of recognition before picking her up, as to not scare her further, he was also aware he needed to get her out of there as quickly as possible. 

He did not need the idiot kid to stand up again and he was sure Bethany did not want any of her friends to see her like this, which meant they needed to get to his car and fast. Still, he was terrified about how non-responsive Bethany was acting. So, once they were further away from the house and covered by the shadow of a tree he took a small pause. 

“Beth… Beth, please, are you alright?” He said, moving the hand that had been supporting her back - before she had grabbed onto his neck - to cup her cheek gently to turn her face slightly towards him. 

Bethany, who no longer felt in control of her body, looked at him in the eye. She tried to speak but no sound came out; she wanted to thank him for rescuing her, wanted to ask him how he had known to come here, but she could feel tears starting to pool in her eyes and she didn’t want him to see her cry. She knew she had no reason to, but she felt so embarrassed right now, so overwhelmed that she did not feel like she could handle breaking down in front of Alex. So she hid her face in the crook of his neck, tightening her hold on his neck. 

He sighed, feeling a smidge better at the fact that she at least had responded to his touch. He allowed her to hide against his chest, simply running his hand up and down her back as he walked them to his car. 

“It’s okay, Beth. You’re okay now. I’ve got you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for disappearing for a bit, but I hope you enjoy the chapter! I know the content is a lot more sensitive than the last few chapters. This is based loosely on the experience a friend of mine had while at prom. It felt important to me to include it because the reality is Beth's life is not gonna get easier once out of Jumanji, and I wanted her and Alex to explore multiple areas of life together. 
> 
> You may have also noticed that I switched from 15 to 17 chapters as I have adjusted my outline, so you're gonna get more chapters in the end!


	5. First (Mistake)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.”  
> ― A.S. Byatt

He gently put her seatbelt on, clenching his jaw as he saw red when he noticed her ripped up dress. If Bethany was in a better state and did not need him right now, he would go back and beat the living shit out of the scum they had left behind by the lawn. 

He quickly moved to the driver's side, turning the car on to turn on the A/C. "Alright, let's get you home." 

"No," she responded immediately, finally feeling strong enough to speak, her hand flying to clutch his. "Please, no."

Alex raised a brow, concern clear on his face. He wanted to question her, but she did not look strong enough to give him an answer. "Bethany, we can't stay here."

"I know, I just… I can’t go home. Not like this,” she said vaguely pointing towards her dress. “I don’t… my parents… they’re not expecting me home tonight, I told them I’d crash at a friend’s. Please… I don’t want to deal with…” she shook her head, her words fading. She looked away, lest she start crying. She was hanging together by a thread.

“Alright,” Alex said quietly, reaching out to squeeze her hand with both of his. He slowly, gently, trailed one hand up and down her shoulder in a comforting motion that had her leaning closer to him. “It’s fine, Beth. just breathe. I won’t take you to your house, okay? Just breathe for me.” 

“Thank you,” she said after a few seconds, squeezing his hand back as he started the car. She did not let go even as he pulled away from the curb, forcing him to drive with one hand as she clutched at his other hand with both of hers. She did not ask where they were heading, and, truly she did not care. She knew that so long as she was with Alex, she was safe. 

They had been through a lot in Jumanji, and he had always stood by her side, helping her as much as she had helped him. And so, if there was one thing she was certain of, is that she could trust the man on her left to keep her safe if she closed her eyes and let him guide her. While he was more dangerous than anything, considering he owned her heart but didn't want it, he was also the one person in her life that, if push came to shove, would do anything to keep her safe. 

The entire ride, she did not let go of his hand, holding it as a way to soothe herself, as a way to not allow herself to think of what could have happened if he had not showed up in time. He did not mention it nor did he ever try to take his hand away. Instead, he interlaced his fingers with her own, rubbing at the back of her palm in steady circles, never once taking his eyes off the road.

“We’re here,” he said sometime later, though Bethany could not say exactly how much later. In fact, she only noticed they had arrived because he had let go of her hand to unbuckle his seatbelt to get out. She quickly followed, not wanting to seem discombobulated to the point of paralysis; it had been embarrassing enough that he had had to go pull her out of danger. 

Once out, she walked behind him to the door, neither of them saying a word. The house looked big from the outside, but the darkness prevented her from taking it in properly. She wondered how long it had taken them to get back to Alex's house. She assumed not too long had gone by since they had left the party, considering how fast he had arrived from when she had first texted, which begged the question - “How did you know where I was?” she half whispered, her eyes still on the street. 

“You mentioned you were at the Whitley’s house in one of your texts,” he reminded her as he opened the door. “It’s a small town, so it’s not like I haven’t met them before. They live fifteen minutes away from the house we have here in Brantford.” 

Bethany raised a brow “that sounds like you have more than one house,” she pointed out as she took in the interior of the house once Alex let them both in. 

She could make out a big, open space, but it was impossible to appreciate the details given how dark it was outside. Still, the house smelled lovely, and what little she could see looked nice. 

“Yes, we have a few properties. My wife inherited this house from her father when he passed away. We didn’t sell it, since it was so close to where my parents live - and, well, it was her dad’s house so she didn’t want to see it gone. We have another house - the one we actually live in - up in Stutton near the lake.” 

She did not need to ask if his wife was staying there, and he was staying here. It felt like it wasn’t exactly her place to pry. Still, she was fairly certain Alex would not bring her to a house his wife - ex wife? - was currently staying at, so she did not feel terribly self-conscious. 

Alex moved away to turn on the lights, revealing a small hallway they were in that led directly into the large open living room. The decor was made out of mostly earthly tones, with a lot of minimalist streaks in the designs of the furniture; however, there were relatively few personal touches, making it clear the house was not very lived in. 

“C’mon, I can show you to the guest room. I should have some spare pajamas that you can potentially wear,” he said as he led her to the stairs, resolutely not looking at her ripped up dress because that would only fan his anger again. 

Once he turned on the light to the guest room and let her in, he moved away to his own bedroom to find Bethany some clothes. In the meantime she texted her friends, to let them know she was alright. The last thing she needed was for them to go ballistic when they finally realized she was nowhere to be found. 

She was curious to see what was in the room, but she abstained, knowing it wasn’t exactly polite to go snooping, especially when Alex had gone through the trouble of getting her out of that party safely. The least she could do was not violate his privacy.  He came back a few minutes later with an oversized sweater from Purdue as well as what looked like track pants. “Sorry, I don’t have anything more, uh, suitable.” 

She shook her head and took the clothes with a grateful smile on her face. “You’ve done more than enough. Thank you… I-” Bethany’s voice died down, knowing that she could not voice anything else of what she was feeling without making him uncomfortable. “Thank you.” 

Alex clenched his jaw, his eyes filled with an emotion Bethany did not recognize, and nodded at her. “I’ll be in the living room,” he informed Bethany before leaving her to change. 

She could see in the tense lines of his body that there was a storm brewing inside of him and, while he had certainly been her knight in shining armor tonight, he was still angry as hell. And it was highly likely that at least some of his anger was directed at her, which meant they would undoubtedly get into a row. She could feel it in the pit of her stomach; he needed to let his anger out, and the last thing she wanted was to fight with him because of it. Perhaps if she was less emotionally exhausted it would be more manageable, but all she wanted - needed - right now was his comfort. 

Bethany sat on the bed with a sigh, bringing the sweater up to her nose without thought, surprised to find herself relaxing at the enticing smell of sandalwood and something minty.

God, why was she so weird? If only Alex knew she was  _ smelling  _ his damn clothes to find his real scent - to compare it to the one from the game - in order to soothe her nerves. Honestly, she needed to get a hold of herself. 

* * *

Bethany walked out of the guestroom quietly, feeling her heart beating a mile a minute as she approached the living room, where she assumed Alex was waiting for her. He was standing by the panel windows, his shoulders set in a tense line that did nothing to lessen her worry. Knowing exactly who, or what, he was angry with would have helped lessen her stress, but she was afraid to ask in case she opened the proverbial Pandora’s box. It had been too much of a rollercoaster day to deal with fighting with Alex now too. 

He turned a few seconds later to face her, his breath catching softly at the sight of Bethany in  _ his  _ clothes. She had foregone the sweatpants he had given her - likely because they were ridiculously big on her tiny frame - which meant that his oversized hoodie was all she was wearing. Thankfully, it was long enough and wide enough to not outline her body completely, but it rode high enough up her leg to show off her well-defined legs. 

She looked gorgeous without even trying and the flame of possessiveness he always tried so hard to box and shove away deep into the recesses of his mind flared up as strong as ever when it came to Bethany. It didn't matter how long it passed - it didn't even matter that for almost twenty years he had had no idea what she looked like. The animal part of his brain had recognized Bethany as his own, and no matter what he did he could not shake that. Her beauty was just a bonus. 

He knew he needed to speak to her, but it was difficult to concentrate, when she looked so utterly appealing, standing there in his living room, wearing his clothes, biting her lip as if worried about his anger. 

And, _fuck_ , was he angry. He had no right to be, he knew that; she was her own woman, who had made no commitments to him. Still, the thought of her knowingly drinking too much, of her texting him, worrying him sick, the thought of that disgusting boy trying to feel her up had left him half unhinged. He was barely in control of himself tonight, and that terrified him. He hadn't felt this out of it since coming back from Jumanji. 

Regardless, he couldn't just not address the colossal issue facing them right now.

“You could have gotten seriously hurt, tonight,” he started, his voice rough with all the emotions racing through him that he was trying his best to hold down. "I told you to be careful and you did not listen to me. Why would you go to this party when you knew that creep would be there?" 

Bethany swallowed hard, barely able to hold back a shiver at the sound of his voice, but she did not back away from his anger. Jumanji had made her stronger than that. Anger - even Alex's anger - was not enough to make her shy away, looking as she used to for the quickest route to non-confrontation. 

“We went because the person hosting was Fridge’s friend and I was trying to be a supportive friend. Also, I  _ was _ being careful. It’s not like I planned on being alone with any guy tonight, especially not Noah. His friend just… grabbed my ass -  _ without _ my permission - and Noah flipped his shit. I didn't…" she shook her head and sighed. “Honestly, I don’t even know what the hell tonight was, but I was trying to be careful.” 

“If you saw they were drunk and acting aggressive, and started grabbing you inappropriately, why didn’t you get out of there as soon as that happened? They’re not your friends. Bethany, you should have  _ screamed _ for help-” 

“Look, I froze, I didn’t want to make a scene and-” 

“-Do you have any idea how worried I was, after those messages you sent?” Alex stepped closer without conscious thought, leaving but half a foot between them as he cut her off. “Wait a minute,  _ a scene _ ? Bethany it’s your safety we’re talking about here!  _ Fuck what people think _ . Make a scene if you have to. You can’t-” 

Bethany stepped closer, sneering at him as she said "it wasn’t you in that situation so stop judging me, I was overwhelmed-” 

“I am not judging you! I am trying to make sure this doesn’t happen again. If you go out drinking like-”

“I didn’t ask you to be worried!” she volleyed back, interrupting him yet again, though she knew her argument was weak and the only reason she was giving it is because she had nothing else to say to defend herself. The reality was that she had been drunk and hadn't been able to think too hard about the situation she found herself in. She hadn’t wanted to make a scene, and the alcohol had left her numb and unable to protect herself. Yes, it wasn't her fault, but she could have reacted better.

She wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of being right, however, so even her weak argument would do. 

Alex looked livid at her idiotic response. “ _ You  _ texted me, Bethany, of course you knew. You knew I was worried the second you went to hang out with those idiots. You knew I was glued to my phone when you told me how they were touching you. You can’t tell me you didn’t know how dangerous a situation that was. You cannot be that irresponsible with your own safety! Obviously it's not your fault, but if you're in danger I expect you to try to get yourself to safety!” 

Bethany half growled, closing the remaining distance between to stand on her tiptoes to be as close to eye level as possible. “Yes, I texted you, because for some stupid reason I can’t get you out of my head. You were the first person I could think of that I knew would help me, but that doesn't mean you get to tell me what to do!” 

The two of them were breathing hard, a clash of wills that left Bethany both angry and aroused. She hated that she could not control neither her emotions nor her desires whenever she was near Alex. It was like her rational, working brain jumped out a window every time he stood this close. He burned her up without even trying to. Even in a fight she couldn’t help but wonder what his lips tasted like, what his body would feel like, pressed against hers. 

She could feel the second the tension in the room shifted, as Alex’s anger receded enough for him to realize just how close they were standing and the wanton way she was looking at him underneath her anger and indignation. He swallowed hard, trying to clear his head, but all he could think about was the fact that Bethany was  _ here _ in his house, and despite how angry he was and how much he wanted her to understand she needed to be more careful, she was now  _ safe _ \- standing but a hair's breadth away. He couldn't stop thinking about the fact that someone had dared to touch what was not theirs to even appreciate or about the fact that she was standing in front of him, not wanting another, glaring at him while wearing  _ his  _ clothes. God, _nothing_ but _his_ clothes. 

And just like that, he broke. 

She wasn’t sure who moved first but one second they were standing there glaring at each other and the next they were kissing, his lips burning her from the inside out. She blossomed like a flower, opening up at his touch, hungry for more. He brought his hands down to her small waist, pulling her closer as he sucked at her bottom lip, earning him a small shiver of pleasure from Bethany. She dragged her hands through his hair, licking into his mouth at the first opportunity, shivering hard at his moan. 

She was having trouble breathing as she was too busy kissing the man who had been living in her heart and mind for the better part of the last 7 months. Nothing mattered but the way his hands felt as he traced circles on her lower back while kissing her senseless. She wanted those hands lower. She wanted them  _ everywhere _ . 

When they finally parted for air, he did not stop kissing her, rather, he began sucking at her neck like a man starved for more, bringing his hands lower to the back of her thighs to pick her up. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist, unable to hold back a moan at the feeling of his quickly stiffening dick brushing against her. She grabbed him by the shoulders, trying not to dig her nails too hard as desire shot through her like lightning. She was unsuccessful, however, as she couldn't help but claw at his back when he bit into her shoulder with a desperation that made her dizzy. 

He walked forward, carrying her as if she weighed nothing before pinning her against the nearest wall with his weight. He kissed her again, deeper this time, bringing a hand to her bottom as she kept writhing against him to get a better angle. He was drowning in her scent, the feel of her body pressed against his, her mouth sucking at his earlobe. He could barely think beyond the brilliant idea of grinding his shaft against her heat, unable to hold back a loud moan when he realized her flimsy underwear had done little to hold back her wetness, which was now soaking them both. 

Bethany threw her head backwards and whined, gripping the back of his neck as she undulated her hips against his crotch, feeling dizzy with want. "A-Alex,  _ please" _

The sound of his phone going off brought them to an abrupt halt, both of them immediately regaining awareness of the situation. Alex quickly placed Bethany down, stepping away from her as if she had burnt him. She was forced to grab the wall to keep her balance as her legs felt like jelly and the alcohol still in her system wasn’t helping either. She was definitely a lot more sober than she had been half an hour ago, but sudden movements were definitely still not good. 

"Fuck," Alex said, bringing a shaky hand up to cover his mouth, looking horrified and like he was about to be sick. "I’m so-”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Bethany half snapped, trying to gather her bearings, trying to suck in air which seemed like had left her entirely. “ _Don’t you dare_. I kissed you back. You haven’t done anything wrong.” 

“Nothing wrong? Discounting your age, you were out drinking, I shouldn’t even be  _ near _ you,” Alex ran a hand through his hair, still looking nauseous at best. He swayed where he stood, his dilated pupils filled with self-directed anger and sorrow. “We can’t do this. We can’t ever do this. I shouldn’t have… my god, I can’t do this to you. You deserve... I can’t believe I... “ he shook his head leaning against the nearest couch as reality threatened to overwhelm him. “I’m s-” he swallowed back his apology, instead saying softly “I think it’s best if we both head to bed. It’s been a long day - for both of us I am sure. We can… we can talk in the morning once you’ve slept a bit and the alcohol is out of your system. I can take you home tomorrow.” 

Bethany wasn’t sure if she said something or she simply nodded, feeling far too numb to do anything but run on autopilot. She watched him walk - run - away, feeling something deep inside her break at the sight. She could tell herself day in and day out that Alex wasn’t interested in a relationship with her, that it was never meant to be, but she had not prepared herself for this. She had not been ready to be held by him, to be so passionately desired by him for even just a second, only for it all to be ripped away the next. 

She felt almost… dirty, as if she was not even worth the night they could have had today. And, fuck, she knew she was overreacting, and she knew that was not why he had pulled away. She knew he was protecting her, chivalrous sweet idiotic man that he was. Rationally, she could give herself all the reasons why him pulling away was for the best. 

But, right now, none of that mattered; she was still reeling from the bullshit that had happened tonight and all she wanted was for him to comfort her, for him to make her forget about everything. The last thing she needed was to see him walk away, not even able to look at her in the eye. It was stupid, but now she had been left bereft with desire, unsure how to come down from the high, and her heart was broken; not only that but she felt mortified. She didn’t know how to face him in the morning. 

No, scratch that; she could not face him in the morning. She needed to leave, and she needed to leave  _ now.  _ Come morning she would be fully sober and the awkward stilted conversation they were bound to have was not something she wanted to handle any time soon. 

With that thought in mind, she ran to his guest room, grabbing her phone and her half torn dress. She sat down on the bed, knowing she couldn’t walk out immediately and texted Martha in the meantime. 

_ Are u home yet?  _

_ BETHANY! Fuck, I was so worried about you. We looked for you everywhere. I didn’t check my phone so I didn’t realize you left with Alex. I am SO sorry. Fuck, we shouldn’t have left you alone. N _ _ o I am not home yet. Almost there.  _

_ Can I crash at your place tonight? _

_ Yes, of course! But, wait, where are you?  _

_ Alex’s house. I am leaving in a second. Long story.  _

_ Are you okay? How are you getting here? Do you need me to pick you up? Beth what happened?? _

_ I’ll tell you when I see you. I may need you to pick me up, I’ll drop a location pin once I leave okay? _

_ Okay, but please be careful. I am glued to the phone. Just call me as soon as I can pick you up okay?  _

Bethany did not answer, but rather waited another ten minutes, biting her bottom lip all the while. She couldn’t leave so suddenly, or Alex would hear her and that was also not something she wanted to deal with. She needed to wait until the man went to bed, or at the very least she needed to wait another 10 minutes. Bethany sighed under her breath as she paced the room, frustration eating away at her. She was torn between berating herself, leaving right now, or rushing into his bedroom (for what she wasn’t sure). 

She waited almost half an hour before feeling it was safe enough to leave without Alex noticing immediately. Still, she was more careful than usual, grabbing her shoes by hand instead of putting them on in order to avoid making noise, given that she had come wearing high heels. As soon as she was out the door, she breathed hard, covering her mouth as a sob threatened to escape. 

She needed to hold it together, at least a little while longer. 

Bethany quickly strapped her shoes on and all but ran into the street, turning on her locator for Martha as soon as she was far enough away from his house. She did not wait standing in one place, but rather continued walking in the hot summer night, knowing that she’d bump into Martha sooner rather than later if she kept making her way to her best friend’s house. 

She was blessedly alone as she walked, leaving her to the darkness and her thoughts. She still felt suffocated, no matter how hard she tried to breathe. So engrossed was she in trying to cleanse herself of all these unwanted emotions that she did not notice when Martha pulled over a bit ahead of Bethany. 

Her friend, noticing Bethany’s lost look, quickly got out of the car, and all but ran to her, grabbing her hand gently to call her attention. 

“I am so sorry I wasn’t there,” Martha breathed out as soon as Bethany’s eyes snapped up to meet hers.

Bethany shrugged, and gave her a weak smile. “It’s fine, let’s just… go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, quarantine = even less time than I had before. Hope you enjoy! (And yes I know, I know THE ANGST).


	6. Pouring salt into the wound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Being rejected by someone you knew you never stood a chance with is like pouring salt on a wound that already has salt in it. It preserves the hurt."   
> \- Maria G. Cope

As soon as the door to Martha’s room was closed, she led Bethany to her bed so they could both sit down and talk. Martha had made sure not to make a peep on their way up, knowing Bethany would not want Martha’s parents to see her neither distraught nor in these clothes. 

"Alright, I know I already said this, but I am  _ so _ sorry Beth. I didn't even realize Noah grabbed you. I should have been paying more attention, and-" 

Bethany shook her head and reached out to squeeze her friend's hand. "Martha, it's not your fault, I should have screamed or, I don't know, done something. Besides nothing too terrible happened - it was terrifying - but I am  _ okay.  _ Not everyone can say that."

"And I am so glad you're alright," Martha said as she hugged her friend closer, forcing down guilty tears because she knew they would only make Bethany mad. "Alright, so, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I am confused as to how Alex fits into this story."

Bethany sighed and fell back on the bed, her feet still firmly planted on the floor while she stretched on the mattress. "Remember how I gave him my number last time we had coffee? Well he texted me a month later, the day before prom.” 

“Oh, wait, why didn’t you tell me?” Martha asked, trying not to feel hurt when her role was to be supportive. 

Bethany bit her lip. “I… I don’t know, I guess I wanted to keep…” Bethany’s words died in her throat. She couldn’t exactly say she wanted to keep her relationship with Alex a secret, as if it was a precious treasure, when there wasn’t even a relationship to speak of. “To be honest, I was surprised he texted at all. After that whole coffee thing I told you about, I figured he’d never want to see me again.” 

Martha rolled her eyes. “I did tell you you were over exaggerating a bit.” 

Bethany gave her an incredulous look. “You told me I shouldn’t have grabbed his arm and pretended to be a couple, and you said I needed to  _ move on _ .” 

“Well, yeah, I stand by that. You shouldn’t have done that, because you guys are  _ not  _ in a relationship, and you have… well you guys kinda have history you know? I mean you  _ saved his life.  _ But I never said he’d never want to talk to you again. I did tell you to move on so that you could stay  _ friends  _ with him.” 

“Right, well, I don’t think that’s gonna work out real well,” Bethany said, half under her breath as she resolutely stared at the ceiling. 

Martha laid down next to her. “Alright, back up a bit and pick up where you left off. He texted you yesterday; what did he say?” 

“Nothing much, he asked about prom and if Noah was still bothering me. I think he kind of couldn’t shake off the concern once I told Alex about him, so he texted me the day before to see if I was going and all that. I told him I was going with Fridge, and that was about it,” Bethany said with a shrug. “Oh, and he apologized for his “freakout” Bethany said as she maid air quotes, “that day at the coffee shop.” 

“And then you texted him tonight… when?” Martha asked, slowly piecing the story together. 

“Well, we’ve been texting since we got to prom, actually. And don’t look at me like that, he texted first! He was just trying to be nice, and was checking up on me, making sure I was safe and whatever,” Bethany explained, unsure as to why she was defending the reason why Alex had texted - when the man had arguably done nothing wrong.

At that point, anyway.

“Well, that’s actually quite sweet of him,” Martha admitted, trying and failing to hold back a smile. “I mean, look, I know he made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship a month ago - and he’s probably right in thinking that - but at least you know he cares about you,” Martha said, trying as always to find the silver lining. 

Bethany shook her head, forcing herself not to scream or cry in frustration. “You haven’t heard the entire story yet.” 

“Right, sorry. Okay, so he texted you today at prom. What happened then?” 

“We went to that stupid party and I went with Lucinda to the back, where some of the football team was watching… I don’t even remember. They were watching something on TV. Anyway, the point is Noah’s best friend - Ethan - was there and he used to be a good friend, so I sat down next to me. That was my first mistake,” Bethany said with a bitter taste in her mouth. “Wait, no, my first mistake was to go with Lucinda. God, why was I so stupid?” 

“Beth, she used to be your friend. You didn’t do anything wrong by going with her to see some of your other friends,” Martha reasoned. 

Bethany sighed and did not say anything more on that. Instead she continued with her story. “While I was sitting next to him, he started pulling me closer and closer. He was drunk, and clingy, and I tried pulling away without making a scene, but then he groped my ass and-” 

“He did  _ what?”  _ Martha said, looking absolutely livid. 

Bethany scrunched up her face at the memory. “I know, it was… pretty bad. I texted Alex before he touched me like that though, when he was first pulling me. I was drunk too, and I missed him, and I felt uncomfortable and I have always felt safe with him. So I was a dumbass and I texted him, but of course he noticed it was a dangerous situation. I asked him to help me - I don’t know why I thought he could help me, I am going to blame it on being drunk.” 

“He did help though, didn’t he? I mean you ended up at his house,” Martha asked, a small frown on her face. 

Bethany couldn’t help but smile a bit, at the thought that yes, Alex had indeed protected her. That was a memory she could always cherish - if she ignored absolutely else about the moment, that is. “Yeah he did. Noah grabbed my phone and pulled me out of the house when he saw me with Ethan, so I stopped texting Alex. I don’t know at what point he decided to come get me, but he did. Noah… Noah was awful.” 

Martha looked like she was going to be sick. “Did he-”

“No, no he didn’t do that,” Bethany was quick to reassure. “But… it was bad enough, he ripped a bit of my dress - hence why I am wearing Alex's hoodie - and… look I don't want to think about it but he didn't do much of anything to me. Alex came quickly enough and got him off of me." Bethany pulled her legs up, playing with the hem of his hoodie. "It was… hot, to see him be so protective of me," she whispered, sharing this very private truth only to Martha while under the cover of night. 

Martha stifled a giggle, and nodded, understanding precisely what her friend meant. When they had been stuck in Jumanji, and Spencer had protected her from the snake, she had been extremely grateful. But a part of her - a more primal side she assumed - just found it straight up arousing that he was willing to stare at danger in the face for her. 

"He took me to his house, because I didn't want to go home," Bethany admitted. “I didn’t wanna show up with a ripped up dress and my make up messed up, you know? I don’t know, I was drunk and I just wanted to feel safe-“

“Beth I am not judging you,” Martha said quickly, gently grabbing her friend’s hand resting on the bed. "I would have probably asked for the same thing in your place. Okay so, you got to his house and he gave you the hoodie. Did something happen there?" 

Bethany smiled at her friend's quiet support but quickly looked away as she whispered "I… well, we kissed. We were fighting, and we got all up in each other's faces, and then we just… I don't know what happened, exactly, I just wanted him to comfort me so badly and then…" Bethany took a deep breath, feeling her core tingling with desire at the thought of Alex's lips on her lips, on her body. 

Martha laid there gaping at her friend, clearly surprised by the revelation. She wasn't sure what to say to make any of this better. She could see the conflicting emotions on her friend's face; her happiness, her sadness, her frustration, and above all that eclipsing want that she did not seem to be able to control when it came to Alex. "Did you do anything… other than kiss?" 

Bethany shook her head. "He pushed me away. He looked so horrified," she half whispered, her voice breaking. "He said it was a mistake, that it shouldn't have happened and… Well after that, I just couldn't stay there. I couldn't face him in the morning, not after that. So I waited until he went to bed, and I left."

Martha sighed and pulled Beth into a hug. "Look, I am not gonna tell you whether kissing him was the right thing to do or not - I think you probably have an answer for that already. But, even if you don't see him face to face in the morning, you can't leave it like that Beth. It's not right, for you or for him."

Bethany covered her face with her hands. "I know that I just… what am I supposed to say to him?"

Martha shrugged. "Well if you were the one that started it… maybe apologize? I mean just to clear the air. You don't have to see him again. You're leaving for Brazil soon anyway. I know it's not ideal, but I think you may feel better if you just air this out and let it go. You need to look forward, so you can enjoy your time away." 

Bethany did not respond, only nodded, and hugged her friend closer. She didn't want to deal with it anymore today. She was emotionally and mentally drained, and all she wanted at this point was either for Alex to comfort her or for everything to go away. So, since the former was impossible, she was pretty much ready to close her eyes and call it a day. She would deal with the fallout later.

And if that night she dreamed about a warm strong body pressing against her and warm blue-green eyes, well that was nobody's business but her own.

* * *

When Alex did not find Bethany in her room - or rather, the guest room - come morning time, he worried. To put it mildly. He was sure the night before had not been a fever dream. He had a missing hoodie to prove it to himself. 

He had told Bethany the night before that they would speak in the morning, but now she was gone, not a trace that he had been there left. It hurt more than he expected, but the shame and the guilt far overpowered any other emotion. 

Last night had been unforgivable. He had let himself get carried away by his emotions, and he had kissed his sweet - young, far too young - Bethany. And in that moment, he had not even been able to feel guilty due to how  _ right  _ it had felt to have her safe in his arms, pressed tight against him and warm with desire. He had wanted more,  _ so much more _ ; more of her kisses, more of her skin, more of her moaning in his ear.

And, fuck, he needed to stop thinking this way about her. This was exactly what had led them into this mess in the first place.

But, god, she had  _ kissed him back _ . That had to count for something to quell some of the horrible guilt he felt. Before he could spiral deeper and deeper into his mind, his phone pinged, offering a slight reprieve as he opened to see the message.

_ Hey, I just wanted to thank you for rescuing me last night. And I am so sorry I kissed you. I know I keep saying I don't want to make you uncomfortable and yet all I seem to do is make you more and more uncomfortable to be around me. I know I shouldn't ask this, and you can ignore me if you want, but can we forget last night happened? I can be a good friend, I promise.  _

Alex felt numb as he read the message a second time and then a third, not fully understanding what he was reading. In what world was any of this her fault? He was the adult, for fuck’s sake. He was not the one supposed to be uncomfortable and, even if he was, that was not important in the least; what mattered here was Bethany and how she felt, or rather how she  _ should  _ feel at knowing that a man twice her age loved her. 

But, fuck, she really didn’t know did she? She had somehow not noticed the way his hands had become sweaty and his heart had clenched painfully the second he had laid eyes on her in this world - in the real word. She had no way to know that for twenty years he had mourned the fact that they would never have a chance, and that seeing her again had been like a drink of water after years of thirst. She had not seen the way he had broken up with girlfriend after girlfriend when he had gone to college, because all he had been able to see in his mind’s eye was her.

More importantly, she couldn’t know. He couldn’t do that to her. It was better to break her heart now than to keep dragging her along by giving her hope. He had had hope once, and, in the end, that had proven as deadly as Jumanji. He couldn’t change reality; he was edging closer and closer to forty and she wasn’t even done with college yet. She had so much left to live and he knew he had to accept that he wasn’t meant to be part of her story. She had cared for him but a day in Jumanji - which admittedly was much longer than a day in their world, but it was still such a short time. At most, she had loved him for the past six months - that is, if she felt just a smidge of what he felt for her. 

She would be fine. She had time as her ally. For him, it would hurt like a bitch, and he would likely never be able to get over his love for her - that crazy, stupid love which he had felt long before she gave him one of her lives. He had to pump the breaks on whatever this was now, so he could set her free. He could do this. He had to do this. Still, the one thing he could not do was let her believe that she could not count on him - no matter whether he was part of her story or not. 

_ I should be the one apologizing, not you. Please don’t ever apologize to me for anything like this. It was a mistake that I promise will not happen again. Anyway, I think it’s best if we just… move on. You have so much on your plate right now, and I have to get my head back in the game with my wife and my family. You know I will always help you if you need me.  _

_ Please take care of yourself  _

Alex sighed, feeling both like a jackass and also sorry for himself. He wanted to see her again, to hold her, to ask her to never leave. But he couldn’t - he couldn’t do that to them. 

So he sent the text and closed the conversation before going back into his contacts, his finger hovering indecisively over his - estranged - wife’s name. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck I am so sorry it has taken me this long to update. The quarantine + my masters have fucked up my schedule and now work too so... bear with me, one day it will be finished, lol.


	7. One step forward...Two Steps Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "So lets ignore each other and pretend the other person doesn't exist. But, deep down, we both know it wasn't supposed to end like this."

Bethany scanned the crowd as she fixed her backpack a bit higher up her back to be able to properly carry the other two bags she had brought with her. She couldn’t believe she was actually here, in Brazil. Her parents had been more than a little surprised at her sudden desire to go and had been doubly surprised when a few weeks after said announcement she had come to them with a fully developed plan and a potential offer from a Brazilian program that accepted foreigners. She had worked her butt off the past year to save enough money to cover all her trip expenses. 

And now the day was finally here, and it could not have arrived a day sooner. After everything that had happened with Alex, she had needed to get away from Brantford and from everyone there. She had been the first of her friends to leave, given that Martha was spending the rest of her summer in town to make the best of her time with Spencer, and Fridge had agreed to wait until Bethany left to head to Ohio, where he had been given a full scholarship to play Football. 

“Ms. Walker?” A man called out, snapping Bethany out of her reverie. He was holding a sign with her name on it, and was smiling at her as they had met via video chat once already. 

“Mr. Santos!” She said happily as she dragged her bags towards where the older man was standing. “Oh my gosh, I didn’t know you were coming to pick me up in person! That’s so kind of you.” 

“Well I was going to send my son, but he had to stay behind to put some ah… what do you call them... ” he said in his accented English, clicking his tongue against his teeth before humming. “Oh yes, some fixtures on the new center we have,” noticing her bags, he extended one hand. “Let me help you with that.” 

“Oh thank you!” She said with another smile as she passed off one to the man, making it easier for her to navigate her way out with just the other. “How many kids do you have?” She asked pleasantly as the man guided them to the parking lot. 

“Three,” he said as he opened the boot. The man looked old enough that it worried Bethany for him to single-handedly pick up two heavy bags to put them in the car, but she needn’t have worried. The man did so as if her bags weighed nothing, giving her a playful wink when he noticed her surprise. 

“This year we have few foreign interns,” he explained as they got into the car, “but they all speak English so you should not have, uh, trouble.” 

“I actually want to learn Portuguese or Spanish if possible!” She confessed with a smile. “I know a little of Spanish, from classes in high school, but I don’t know if that will help at all in learning Portuguese. I wish my non-existent Portuguese was as good as your English.” 

The man chuckled. “I studied in your country for a few years,” he admitted before turning away from her to pay for the parking. “My father had some money - he owned some factories - and so my brothers and me picked where we wanted to go for university. Two of my brothers went to Spain, and I went to the United States to learn English. I don’t remember everything so it’s only good now, my english, not great,” he joked. 

“Loads better than my Portuguese or my Spanish,” Bethany said with a shrug. “Are we going to the new center now?” 

“Yes, my son will show you the place and introduce you to the other interns, trainees, and volunteers. Marlene, you talked to in emails with her I think, will take you and the other volunteers to our… how do you call, the place where you will be staying?”

“oh, um, Lodging?” She asked hesitantly.

“Yes, she’ll take you to your lodging. You start tomorrow with everyone. You will be getting training with the group you will meet today for the year. There are some animals you won’t be allowed to work with because we need more trained people for them. Too dangerous for you without the proper training.” 

She nodded, almost vibrating in her seat with excitement. The program itself was a year long training experience, meant to serve as preparation for those interested in conservation work or even veterinarians. They worked at different levels - at the top there were doctors and experts who came and stayed at the center to do research and who lent their skills in the conservation work the center carried out in the Amazon. At the other end of the spectrum they had students, interns and volunteers who all generally came with the same goal - get some experience to see if they could do this for the rest of their lives. 

Bethany felt deep in her bones that this was the right choice for her, but she also knew she needed to try it on a small scale first, see if any PTSD triggered by just being in a jungle again before she truly committed to the many years it would take her to become a wildllife veterinarian. 

The car ride was relatively short, which gave Bethany enough time to collect herself and get her head back in the game. She was very excited, but she didn’t want to seem like a little girl; she needed to be professional. 

“Come, leave your bags. One of the guys will take them to the lodging” he instructed as they got out of the car and into the center. The place was enormous and brightly lit, with multiple paintings of animals on the walls which made Bethany smile. 

“Adriano!” The man called out as he gently tapped Bethany on her arm to indicate they were turning left. “Pudeste terminar de instalar as coisas ou não?

“Manolo disse que vai terminar. Faltam apenas algumas coisas,” the tall young man said, turning to look at Bethany with his bright green eyes. He smiled at her, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “Hi, I’m Adriano.” 

“Bethany,” she said, feeling her cheeks go red as he stepped forward into her personal space to kiss her cheek. 

“Adriano, stop it,” his father said, rolling his eyes. “She’s American, they don’t kiss to greet people.” 

“She’s in Brazil now,” he said with a sharp grin as he stepped slightly back, still far closer than what Bethany was used to. “Do you want me to show her around?” 

His father nodded with a grunt. “Don’t be afraid to smack him if he starts acting stupid,” his father told her, before waving them off. 

“So you flirt with all the newcomers?” Bethany asked once they were out of earshot. 

“Flirting? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He chuckled, and gave her a once over, his smile softening as he once again leaned in close to whisper. “Trust me, new girl, you’ll know when I’m flirting with you. 

Bethany forced her feet to keep going as he laughed, his easy going personality making it so that he took no offense to her lack of response - and for that she was glad. She could not deny that the guy was drop dead gorgeous, and this was exactly the kind of distraction she needed - especially after hearing rumors, from Martha, that Alex and his wife were patching things up. 

She had not asked her friend how she had found out, but she trusted that she would not tell Bethany something like that unless it was true. And, if Alex was moving on, then for fuck’s sake she needed to do the same. The guy had been married for over ten years, it wasn’t like he had been missing Bethany, and now he was back with her to make absolutely sure nothing happened between them. She wasn’t betraying him by letting another guy flirt with her. Hell she was betraying no one by flirting back. 

This was her chance to leave it all behind. To forget her feelings for him, to let go of Jumanji and embrace the real world. So with that thought in mind, she flipped her hair and used some of the very techniques she had taught Martha when they had needed her to flirt for her life. 

“Oh, honey, you better be careful there,” she said with a dangerously sly smile. “You’re playing with fire.” 

If he was shocked at her 180 response he did not show it. Instead, he grinned and said “I like fire.” 

* * *

Alex woke up with a start, dripping in his own cold sweat. He groaned and got out of bed as quietly as he could, mindful not to wake up his wife who was still fast asleep next to him. It had been months since the last time he had been able to sleep fully through the night. Ever since Bethany’s prom his nightmares had come back with a vengeance, as if subconsciously punishing him for hurting her feelings. 

He walked down to the kitchen, refusing to look at the clock on the wall that wished to gloat about the fact that he had likely slept less than two hours. He didn’t know what to do to alleviate the nightmares, but he knew what he  _ wanted  _ to do.

When he had come out of Jumanji, it had been terrible. The trauma it had left him with had not been pretty and, aside from his dad whom he was pretty sure had never believed him, there was no one he could talk to. No one he could turn to for help. He had missed the team the most in those moments, cursing the fact that they were not born yet and therefore not alive to help him.  He had had to learn different ways to cope - the more effective one being flying. Even back in Jumanji, one of the few places he had felt truly safe was in the air, where, at least in the deathtrap that was the game, he felt in his element. He had trained long and hard to feel as at ease once he had left the game, all the while seeking for something - anything - that would offer him a semblance of comfort in the form of control. 

He could probably go right now if he wanted, but the reality was this time was different. 

This time the Team - and most importantly  _ Bethany _ \- was alive. She, whom he had dreamt of speaking with for so many sleepless nights, was alive and just a phone call away. And in nights like tonight it took every ounce of self control not to dial, not to beg her to come back to the States, not to supplicate for her forgiveness.

But he couldn't do that to her. He refused to saddle her with a man twice her age who was too broken by life and who had too much baggage attached. He had nothing he could truly offer her - not anything that someone less damage couldn't offer too. She deserved better than that; she deserved everything she could wish for - and that meant that for today a strong scotch would have to do to calm his frayed nerves, instead of the soothing balm that was her voice. 

He reached into his liquor cabinet, pouring himself two fingers worth of scotch before downing it in one go. He closed his eyes, grounding himself in the burn of his throat. 

"Daddy?" A tiny voice said from the door, making Alex whirl around in a second, his heart hammering in his chest. 

"Sweetheart, why are you up?" He asked, setting his still empty glass down. "It's super late, baby. You need to go to sleep."

"I had a nightmare," she said, her eyes big and scared the way they used to be when she was little and she was afraid of the dark. 

"Oh, darling," he said as he picked her up and walked back to the room with her, happy to let go of his spiraling thoughts in favor of concentrating on his daughter. "C'mon let's get you to bed. Your nightmare isn't real, okay? And I will always be here to protect you. I can stay with you until you fall asleep, but I promise nothing is going to happen to you."

"Can you tell me a story?" She requested a bit shyly, still feeling the effects of her fear.

"It's too late to read a book, honey, and if we turn on the light you’re gonna wake up even more" he said as he grabbed her hand to rub soothing circles on her skin. "I will read you two stories tomorrow, okay?" 

"No, not a book. A story about Bethany - your superhero friend," she said with a hopeful smile. "You haven't talked about her in ages, Daddy."

Alex clenched his eyes shut, his daughter's words feeling like hot coal down his throat. "You're right, I haven't," he said in a strangled voice. 

He had not spoken of Bethany since the girl had stopped being a dream and had moved on to be flesh and bone, turning his soft and impossible longing into something much more real and painful. What had begun as an innocent way to talk about his life with his daughter, to give her someone to look up to other than mommy or daddy, had ended up being almost therapeutic for Alex. He hadn't realized how much of his love for Bethany he had transmitted to his daughter. While she did not know the petite blonde, his daughter thought the world of her daddy's "superhero bestfriend". 

“Did you have a fight? Why has she never come over? I wanna meet her daddy,” she said, excitement clear in her voice. "It's been years, Daddy. I deserve to meet her. I won't tell anyone - I know we can't tell other people we know a superhero." 

It was the one request she had made since she was three years old, and it was the one request he could not grant. And now that Bethany was out and about in the world, now that he  _ could  _ introduce her daughter to the young woman, it hurt even more because he knew it would simply never happen. Alex wondered what his daughter would say if he told her that she had already met Bethany, his Bethany, once by accident. He wondered what she would think if he told her they could not meet again, because he had hurt her feeling. 

And that was the crux of it wasn't it? He had hurt her before she left, that much he knew, and he had gotten what he wanted; Bethany had not contacted him at all in the three months that she had been gone. 

So now he lived with the gaping hole in the shape of Bethany - and apparently his daughter did too, though thankfully not to the same extent nor in the same way. 

"I know you do, sweetheart," he said quietly before kissing her forehead. "I am sure she'd love to spend the day with you but… she's not here right now, and she has a life of her own. She's helping people and animals, babe. We wouldn't want to get in the way of that, right?" 

"But we wouldn't be getting in the way," she reasoned, frowning at her dad. "We could help her! Like you help me to get things done better! And that way she won't be alone helping the animals, daddy. We could be like a team! Wouldn't that make her happy? It's not nice to be alone, daddy."

"No, no it isn't," Alex said with a sigh, hugging his little girl closer, hoping that her golden heart could somehow heal his wounds. "Maybe one day we'll be able to help, her sweetheart. Maybe one day." 

* * *

"Alright everyone stick together," Adriano said as he took out his water bottle to take a sip. "Dan get away from the water!" He snapped as he noticed one of their newer trainees slowly approach the water to wash his hands. 

The boy, who did not react fast enough, let out a blood curdling scream as he jumped backwards as far as he could as a - albeit small - crocodile came out of the water. He fell to the floor but continued backing away slowly as the beast quickly closed in on him. Adriano immediately jumped into action coming from behind to jump on the crocodile’s back just as the best clenched its jaw around the boy’s leg. 

Bethany grew pale at the sight, remembering her own experience with those beasts, as well as the killer hippo that had eaten her when they had first arrived at Jumanji. 

_ If they bite you, try to poke their eyes out. You will never get them to open their jaws, they’re fucking vicious.  _

Alex’s voice to her unbidden by the passage of time. They had talked about it while walking around the cave. She had not been able to help herself, and had asked him if he had ever been killed by the crocodiles when he had found the cave which he had led them through. He had revealed to her that he had never been killed by them, but he had been caught once, leaving him with an awful wound which he had had to live with for a very long time - until the game finally took his first life and restored him, injure free back into the game. 

Bethany did not need to think twice. She ran towards her Brazilian friend, quickly grabbing the knife she knew he kept strapped to his right leg. She made sure to stay behind, like Adriano, to avoid the creature’s teeth, and stabbed its left eye as hard as she could. Immediately the crocodile hissed, opening its jaw as it backed away in pain. She grabbed Adriano by the hand and dropped him to the side, before quickly grabbing Dan by his armpits to drag him as far away as she could. 

Adriano did not look back at the heavily injured crocodile, but rather called everyone to head back to the camp to call for medical aid. As soon as they scattered he turned to where Bethany was still hunched over with the young man who was injured. He went to them and picked Dan up bridal style to avoid aggravating the injury. 

“C’mon Beth, we need to get him out of here,” he indicated as he began jogging back to camp, the extra weight slowing him down enough so that Bethany could easily keep pace with him.

“Is he going to be alright?” She asked, her voice small. This was not Jumanji; there was no coming back to life here. 

“That was a very young crocodile, thankfully for him,” Adriano reassured both of them, though Bethany wasn’t sure Dan could hear anything as his face was scrunched up in pain and the only sound he could make was painful whimpers. “I have seen worse. It didn’t tear the leg out. It will leave a very big scar, but he will not die.” Adriano suddenly smiled at her, his eyes filled with passion. “That was quick thinking, back there. I didn’t know you knew anything about crocodiles.” 

Bethany blushed and looked away, relieved when she realized they were almost back at the camp. She wasn’t sure what to tell him, to be honest. She couldn’t tell him about Jumanji, he would never believe her. Not only that but he just simply wouldn’t understand; you needed to have experienced that to understand it. The fear and the trauma - it wasn’t something she could make others feel. 

Her heart throbbed painfully at the thought of Alex, what would he have done in a situation like this? Would he have jumped like her? Did he still remember all the skills he acquired in Jumanji when he had lived alone in the jungle for years without even noticing? God she missed him; it was like a phantom pain that never left her alone but that was particularly painful every so often, when the situation was too close to what they had lived together. 

“I am going to make sure they take care of him,” he told Bethany as they reached the camp, giving her a soft smile before running quickly inside. 

She watched him go, feeling numb and broken. She was so worried for Dan, of course she was and she wanted to go with Adriano to be there for her new friend. But she couldn’t walk; the accident had been too much like Jumanji, making her own trauma flare up with a vengeance. She fell to her knees, finding it harder and harder to breathe as she remembered the excruciating pain she had felt course through her body as the Hippo’s teeth ripped through her skin and muscle as if they were butter. 

Bethany put her hands on the ground, shaking uncontrollably as she closed her eyes, the memory overwhelming her. 

“Bethany? Beth? Are you alright? Beth!” Someone said beside her, but she could not place the voice. She could not even tell if it was a man or a woman, a friend or foe. All she knew was pain. 

“Beth, you have got to breathe-”

“Alex,” she called out, half out of her mind. “A-Alex!” 

“What? Beth? Beth, please breathe.” 

“Alex,” She said again, like a broken record, feeling fainter and fainter by the second. 

“Beth, there’s no one named Alex here. If you don’t breathe you’re going to pass out. Hey, look at me, just look at me,” the voice said as someone gently took her by the shoulders to make her look up. 

Her vision was blurry but she managed to make out blue-green eyes. 

Blue-green eyes that reminded her of Alex. 

She grabbed onto whoever was holding her, her hands clutching blindly. 

“Breathe with me,” the voice said again - it was a woman. The voice was that of a woman’s, she knew that now. 

She focused on the woman’s eyes, breathing in as the woman counted. She wasn’t sure how long they were there on the floor, with this woman helping her breathe. All she knew as her heart rate came down was that, right now, she needed someone to keep her far away from technology or she would break down and call the one person she knew did not want her to call. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me forever to update. Sometimes life just hits.

**Author's Note:**

> So I totally fell in love with this pairing after I watched the movie the first time, but I assumed it was just me. Then I watched the second movie and I, once again, was a sucker for these two. It pained me so much that they aged him out, because they could have been such a cute couple. SO, I couldn't help myself and wrote an outline and like the first five chapters of a fic in one sitting. 
> 
> I am changing a few things to start with; here, they are on their last year of HS, so she is 17 at the very beginning of the chapter and she's 18 by the end of chapter 1. Still that's quite young and I don't feel comfortable writing a full on romance when she's still a teen. So this fic is gonna be a slooooow burn. 
> 
> The fic will alternate in terms of point of view, but it will mainly be told from Bethany's view. I also added a few OC characters, such as a young brother for Bethany, and of course since we never see his wife, I am also building her from scratch. I hope you like it!


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